Friday, June 20, 2014

Question- What Happens When You Talk About Anal Sex?

Welcome back to the Blogging From A-Z Challenge.

Today Q is for Question.

My question is: What happens when you talk about anal sex?

Answer: an uncomfortable silence.

Okay, I posted this a while back, it actually happened to me because sometimes I get a little chatty. 

If you already read it, you may move on, or re-read if you like.

There is often balance in relationships where one of you might be an oversharer while the other one would take all your secrets to the grave. The universe needs the balance, I think it might be the law of opposites attracting. This post, about a fateful girl's night out, might clue you in on which part of the oversharer/secret keeper dynamic I fall into.

Our night ends around 4am, with five of us at an all-night pizza place outside on the boardwalk. We were quite the hot mess. The bride was sober and miserable. Her cousin was drunk and sobbing. My one friend was yelling at the people behind the counter for not selling soft pretzels. And me and one other girl, whom I had just met that night, were inhaling pizza slices bigger than our heads. We were a picture of runny mascara and sweaty club clothes. I was also carrying my high heels tucked up under my arms so I could keep my hands free to eat my pizza (I must have been inebriated, because voluntarily going barefoot on that boardwalk? Ick!).

We started talking about sex (because what else do you talk about at a pizza place at 4am?). I decide this is the best time to confess how much I love anal sex. I launch into a description about how much more intense my orgasms are this way and how I almost prefer this to vaginal penetration, when I glance up from my greasy, pepperoni slice to find four perplexed looks of shock. The uncomfortable silence descends and I immediately stop talking. My friend (the soft pretzel demander) starts laughing manically, she can't stop laughing long enough to get words out and just keeps shaking her head over and over. She finally manages to get out “It's so awful!” between gasps for air.

Now I am embarrassed and defensive. I follow up with “Have you tried it?”
“Yes! And never again!” Now I am peppering her with questions (which she is not answering, obviously not an oversharer like myself). And I start giving suggestions on “proper preparations.” (I still have not heard the last of that line, it gets brought up at many parties).

Our night came to a close soon after this, we trudged back to our rooms and I woke up in the morning slightly hungover and even more embarrassed.

I shoot a quick text off to my husband

Had a great time last night... may have told everyone I like anal.

I hold my breath for his reply. If the tables were turned I would be totally pissed.


Ok, I cannot judge tone of voice in a text, is he mad?

Um, yeah, I feel like an idiot.

Almost immediate reply-

LOL. So when I get a few pats on the back this weekend from the guys I'll know why?

My relief is immediate, at least my husband isn't mad.

I endure a late breakfast with the rest of the girls, trying my best to act like I am totally cool with the information I shared the night before. Only getting a little red in the face when I am good- naturedly jabbed with comments.

Needless to say I think I will be forever labeled the kinky friend.

And once again I need to thank my husband for restoring the balance in our relationship, at least on his side some of our dirty little secrets might actually remain secret.

Have you ever divulged a kinky secret? What was the reaction of the person you told it to?

I encourage you to visit some other A-Z Blogs, there are a lot to choose from!


  1. LOL, Casey. Drink and kink don't mix :) I can imagine breakfast. I wonder if admitting to liking being spanked might have been worse?

  2. LOL, Casey. Drink and kink don't mix :) I can imagine breakfast. I wonder if admitting to liking being spanked might have been worse?

  3. From one over sharer to another--I would so do that. I am always mortifying family and friends. Great post!!

  4. Beware the alcohol tongue. I've shared more than most people want to hear. My only hope is that they were as sotted as I and either don't remember or are not sure what they heard. :-)

  5. Oh god! Luckily, most of my friends back home or crazier and kinkier than myself. In fact, for many years, I was the prude one.

  6. Rayanna- The funny thing is I still get called a prude a lot. I think it's because my face flushes and I get all tongue tied when certain topics get brought up. What they don't know is I am afraid of what might come out of my mouth, I am not embarrassed about the topic!

    Leigh- Why does a few drinks make everything seem like a good idea??

    Megan- I knew we were friends for a reason!

    Tara- Drink and kink totally mix! Just not when among mixed company :) Let's hope I never find out what the reaction is to spanking...

  7. LOL, I love Tara's comment! :)
    So funny, Casey.
    I'm an over sharer too.

    I don't know if I have mentioned any kinky stuff yet.
    I have tried to open up the conversations, but no one has bitten yet.

  8. oh my, that was a funny story, Casey :D It's funny and sad at the same time for me about the preparation line of your story catching the other women's attention- if only more people knew about preparation, maybe there'd be more people who enjoyed anal activity. I find your notion on oversharer/undersharer (don't think that's quite the term you used lol). Between my Master and I, we really don't have a dynamic like you and your Mr McKay have- my Master shares less than me, but basically because He doesn't have a blog, doesn't write erotic romance. I've lost any sense of being embarrassed though- I use my experiences to teach so much. After all, there's some joke, some vent to it, but did you know it's perfectly acceptable to start a conversation with me with something like "Guess what? I had sex this weekend." And yes, I have had a friend do exactly that lmao.

  9. I have not overshared information of sexual nature. I have not shared information of a sexual nature. I have, however, received confidences of a sexual nature--and I usually attempt to hide my shock.

  10. I love you Casey. That's hilarious. I'm a total over sharer. I'm always casual taking conversations too far. But, with it's always with friends. Friends my husband and I share.

    My husband's good buddy is also his co-worker, who has a very prude wife. We aren't all friends. Somehow anal sex got brought up my husband was all, "Oh yeah, we do that. It feels incredible and the Mrs. loves it." He's now this guys hero, but I could have killed him. Now every company get together I'm wondering if this guy told his wife. I hope not. So embarrassing.

    I guess I should cut him some slack. He was all swept up in the moment, all excited he had done something other guys only get to dream about.

  11. I think the gift of anal is special! Our husbands appreciate us I think. I remind mine all the time how lucky he is - then stick my hip out for a spank! Yep, lucky - that's what he is!

    I love that you overshare. I think that is one of the reasons I love you so much. And really, you did your friends a favor. They were just too embarrassed to talk about anal and now, if they ever want to, they know where to turn for information and helpful advice on proper prep and such...

  12. The last time I got drunk with friends I was trying to explain to my friends' husbands that everyone was basically bi-sexual and that if you chopped their wives in half and mounted the top half on a skateboard like wheeliebob from Toy Story then they would still love their wife because love is not based on vaginas. Persuasive and erudite as my slurred drunken argument was, I don't think think either of them came round to my way of thinking.

  13. I loved this post the first time and I still love it! If it weren't for us expanding our friends' minds while drunk, who else would do it??

  14. Katherine- I have always been the one to bring up sex talk, even when I wasn't having sex. I just like talking about it!

    Cara- You're a nice person for trying to hide your shock.

    Aubrey- I actually cut out the original beginning of this blog post. I talked about how I always make my husband swear he will never ever say anything about our sex life, ever... and then I am the one who blabs, LOL. I'm sure the coworker's prude wife is secretly jealous of you.

    Natasha- Our husbands are super lucky. I'll tell mine all the time too :)

    Etta- We need to hang out in real life. That is all!

    Renee- Exactly! Expanding minds one drunken episode at a time :)