Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Squat Challenge Update~ Procrastination and Losing Count

Life has hit us at full force here in the McKay house. Personally, I am a homebody. Any chance I get to lay on the couch and read and wear clothes that are so washed out and comfy you can see through them, I am all for it! Sadly, our DVR is piling up with recordings and our Netflix account is barely getting used.

When one has a busy life, it helps to plan and schedule things out. It also helps to know one's own weaknesses so you aren't self-defeated.

I started last week out knowing a few things for certain: I'm dedicated to this squat challenge and I am most productive in the mornings. These are good things to know... I may have learned some other things about myself along the way.

Day 13- Goal 130 Squats

An early start at work means my plan to get my squats in early in the morning is already thwarted. I work a 10 hour shift at the day job and then come home and split my squats into 5 sets.

I opt to do them in the kitchen while Mr. McKay is cooking. I realize that any talk with numbers in it will make me lose count. A simple, "The oven needs to be on 350," resulted in me doing another set of squats because I just didn't know what number I was on!

Day 14- Goal 135 Squats

Another whirlwind of a day, I completely forget about my challenge until late that night. After I've showered and brushed my teeth I start five sets of squats. Mr. McKay is lingering nearby and he gets a, "Shh! Don't make me lose count!" more than once. Mission accomplished, I sleep like a champ.

Day 15- Goal 140 Squats

The midway point!! This is a bit of a milestone and it gives me renewed vigor to make it to the finish line. But still no sense of urgency. On a rare night we have free, I squat during late night TV watching. I'm not as rushed or tired and I don't lose count at all.

I might mention more than once that I am "Totally kicking this challenge's ass!"

Realization: I might be a competitive asshole, even when I am competing against myself.

Day 16- Rest Day

I do love when a rest day falls on my day off so I can rest in every sense of life! I hit rest day hard.

Day 17- Goal 150 Squats

We're away for the weekend. Our car gets packed up with more items than we can possibly need for three days. We take a short road trip and find our way to the roller derby event we attend every year. I play in a hard-hitting scrimmage with players from all over the world. We catch up with friends, we drink, we eat. 

In the wee hours of the morning we start to climb into our bed at the hotel. "My squats!" I hop back out from under the crisp white sheet. 

"You did a lot today, maybe you can skip them tonight," Mr. McKay suggests.

"I'm more than halfway there! I'm not a quitter!"

He shrugs at me and turns the TV on. We watch some late night talk show as I complete six sets of 25 squats. I try counting on my fingers. I'm tired and blurry and might be a little drunk. I'm fairly certain I've completed 150 squats by the time I climb into bed, although the details are fuzzy.

Day 18- Goal 155 Squats

I'm determined not to have another night where I am rushing to complete squats at 2am. I'm up before Mr. McKay and I start my squats before I even shower. I get half of them done before we leave the hotel for the day.

The rest get completed in the early evening when we stop at the hotel before meeting up with friends for dinner.

I feel accomplished. I feel so on top of things. I don't understand why I can't do this everyday, with all parts of my life...

Day 19- Goal 160 Squats

Our weekend has derailed a bit. The clock read 4am when I climbed into bed the night before (earlier that morning?). We have a checkout time, we have to pack up our stuff, we want to get back to the sportsplex to catch a few more derby bouts before we head home. 

We are tired. We are not in our 20's anymore. We realize our miscalculation belatedly, it would have been good to remember some hours ago, but we weren't the only ones up until 4am. 

I greet a few of my roller derby teammates in the parking lot. They are wearing big sunglasses and have purchased coffees in gallon sizes.

We cut our day short and take our roadtrip home. Then we nap. I get my squats in. My sets are split up by long breaks. I chat with Mr. McKay recalling my favorite parts of the weekend... and lose count. I do a few extra, just to make sure I reach my goal legitimately.

Day 20- Rest Day

I could not have needed it more. But it is a new week. I got this!


I know I can procrastinate, that was not a surprise to me. Also, counting, not my best skill. I mean, obviously I can count, but I lose track quickly if distracted. I cannot multitask where numbers are involved. 

I think the thing that surprised me the most about this week is how competitive I am. Well, I always knew I like to win. There have been more times than I can count that a session of Mario Baseball on Nintendo has almost ended in divorce. Also, I refuse to play Monopoly anymore because all of my worst fights with my brothers growing up centered around this board game. (They are cheaters though, seriously.)

I think the thing I found funny was how competitive I am with myself. This challenge isn't a competition. I couldn't do the instagram challenge I planned on and I thought it would be good to have something to blog about. To be honest, when I started I had no intentions of finishing.

But now that I am into it, I want to succeed. I keep pushing myself to do better. If I feel like one of my squats was below par because I was distracted by something else, I do it again. I don't want to cheat! Which really just means it's a personal thing, because no one is policing me.

Mr. McKay walked past me last night while I was doing the dishes. He grabbed my ass (as he does) and said, "Oh, that's a firm butt!" That's really all the incentive I need :)

Saturday, June 11, 2016

Squat Challenge Update~ A Little Sexercise in Your Life

Summer is upon us, at least unofficially, and the weather isn't the only thing making me sweat. I am keeping up with my squat challenge, even though pretty much every day I think about throwing in the towel.

Not because I can't complete the squats, life is just busy! Sometimes it feels like there is no time. It helps to multitask and to have a supportive mate:

Day 5- Goal 70 squats:

This was the first day I seriously considered quitting. The previous day had been a rest day, but I skated in two roller derby bouts. Upon reflection, I think I pushed myself a bit harder than I should have. Back and fully healed from last season's broken ankle I think I'm still trying to prove myself. Skating in two roller derby bouts back to back, a total of two hours, squatting the whole time and giving and taking hits. It's a lot on the body.

Around half-time of the second game I realized I was winded and not playing at my full potential. But I finished it out and decided right then and there to be kinder to myself in the future. Yes, secretly I was proud of myself that I could do it, but I also don't need to almost kill myself to prove anything to myself or anyone else.

The next day- Day 5 of the Squat Challenge- after closing down the bar with Mr. McKay and most of my teammates, running on six hours of sleep, I showered and headed off to a baseball game with my inlaws. It was a lot of walking, and a lot of sweating. At this point, I had consistently sweated so much the entire weekend, I wasn't sure I had anything left to sweat out.

Hours later we arrived back home. I showered, realized I should have applied more sunblock, fished the aloe out of the closet and declared I still had 70 squats to do. I looked to my husband, I expected him to tell me to take the night off. He'd been with me all weekend, he'd seen what I had done.

"Seventy?" he asked.


"You got this!" he encouraged.

"I do?" I was not feeling his level of excitement. I was standing in the doorway of our spare room/office where he was hunkered down at his computer. Fresh from the shower, I'd thrown on an old t-shirt and a worn pair of panties as I towel dried my hair.

"Yeah, do them now," he said, his eyebrows raising up as he checked out my ensemble.

Now I understood, he probably did care about me meeting my goal, but this was more of a chance for him to watch me do some squats in my underwear. I should be outraged, right? I mean, I should at least call him a pig. But really, I couldn't fault him, and I didn't want to. We'll be married seven years and if he still likes looking at me in my underwear, even if they are all washed out and have a hole working along the elastic, why should I be pissed about that?

So I did the squats. I did all seventy, and there was some groping and giggling involved.

Day 6- Goal 75 squats:

Oh Monday, you always come up too quickly. I coaxed Mr. McKay into doing some living room yoga with me after we were both done with work for the day. I have to coax him into yoga because while it reinvigorates me and gives me energy, it makes him sore and makes him yell things at the TV where the innocent instructor leads us through the stretches.

Once we finished and he's grumbling and complaining, I tried to change the mood.

"Want to help me do my squats?" I aimed for a surprise treat, something to make him happier.

He one upped me. "Will you do them naked?"

I almost swayed, but I had a momentary vision of what a naked squat will look like and it seems too lewd for 7pm on a Monday. I feel my face flush and the cat takes that moment to poke through the living room curtains on her way out of the window. It's daylight still and we're in the living room. And god, we have neighbors, new ones who don't know how depraved we are!

"Just kidding," he backtracks. I think he can feel my uncertainty, but I can tell from his face that he wasn't kidding.

I compromise and slip my yoga pants off. More underwear squats. I did all 75, although some may have not been the correct form, it's hard to concentrate when someone keeps poking his fingers into your underwear.

Day 7- Goal 80 squats:

Up to this point, it's like we've had foreplay every day this week. It was bound to come to some sort of culmination.

I had every intention of getting my squats done earlier in the day. I had to go to roller derby practice, and knew I wouldn't want to be dealing with them after practice, squeezed in the short amount of time before bed.

After work, I declared I was going to get changed and get them out of the way. Mr. McKay trailed me to the bedroom. I assumed he wanted to watch again. It didn't bother me. I welcomed the company as I shucked my day job clothes and blathered on about my frustrating day. Something happened then, the squats were forgotten. There were hands and lips and we tumbled into bed like sex starved teens. To be honest, sex has been infrequent as of late. Health issues and life in general to blame. I really do think the weeks "sexercise" had served to set things in motion.

At first it was all a frenzied rush. And then we fell into a rhythm and set a slower pace, like a cold drink after a long hot day. We didn't move from the bed afterwards and I took a rare nap.

Those squats got done, after practice, before bed. In the kitchen as I was making a post practice meal. I ended up finishing them just when I hadn't wanted to... but sometimes you can have the best laid plans :)

Day 8- Rest Day:

I took this to heart. A rare weekday off from the day job, no scheduled practice, and a rest day from the challenge? I made an indent in the couch cushions and didn't rouse myself enough to get the laundry done until 8pm. It was a true rest day!

Day 9- Goal 100 squats:

A long work day and I really wanted nothing more than to go back to my rest day ways and lay on the couch. But I got those 100 squats done in sets of 25, mostly while talking to Mr. McKay in the kitchen while he cooked. Fully clothed this time, no shenanigans.

Day 10- Goal 105 squats:

Mr. McKay and I indulged in some pizza around 9pm after very busy days. I broke my squats up into some sets that I completed between bites of pizza, conversation, and watching 30 Rock (which is now streaming on Netflix!). I was tired and pretty sure I miscounted more than once, which means I did more than 105 squats because any time I think I miscount I just do five more.

Day 11- Goal 110 squats:

Ending out the week on much of the same note. I have a roller derby bout tonight, so I was stretching and chatting with Mr. McKay before we had lunch. I completed all my squats while we watched some youtube videos. Watching James Corden answer 73 questions for Vogue can make those squats fly by! Again, no shenanigans, but I need to focus for tonight :)


A little bit of foreplay can make exercise more exciting. But even when there is no groping involved, it's nice to have a buddy and someone supporting your goals, no matter what those goals may be!

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Squat Challenge Progress~ The Quest for the Perfect Ass

Since I am not participating in any kind of spanky author challenge for the month of June, I'm doing a squat challenge all on my own. Well, not on my own, Thianna D jumped on board!

Instead of blogging about it everyday, I'll be giving you some updates on my progress. A kind of squatting journal to be precise.

I'll also share with you what I learned about myself only four days in:

Day 1: Goal- 50 Squats

I've literally decided to do a squat challenge five minutes ago. I have to get to my day job in about 45 minutes. No time like the present! 50 squats? I got this. I'll do two sets of 25. I do this in the kitchen in my pajamas while my coffee is brewing.

One set of 25, pour a cup of coffee, take that delicious first sip... second set of 25.

End up being late to work. Because I always think I have more time than I do, like time to do 50 squats in my kitchen instead of getting into proper work clothes and running a brush through my hair.

I notice around my lunch break that my thighs are a little wobbly and my left hip hurts. Make mental note to make sure I am squatting correctly.

Day 2: Goal- 55 Squats

Again in the morning before work, in my kitchen. One set of 30 while my coffee was brewing and one set of 25 while I was straightening my hair.

Turns out I am squatting correctly I just have tight hips. 

Once again, late to work (3 minutes though, who's counting?).

Day 3: Goal- 60 Squats

It's Friday and the day job has completely kicked my ass this week. It's been total madness since the holiday on Monday and I have not left work on time any day this week (see why I don't stress so much about arriving late?).

No time to squat in the morning. I decide I may knock them out on my lunch break.

Turns out the breakroom has a weird smell (something like farts- I pray to all that is holy that I am wrong) and creepy coworker number 1 is sitting in there alone. I buy a bag of pretzels and spend 30 minutes in my car. No time for squats!

After work, I indulge in a short nap and then head down to the kitchen to make pasta salad for a roller derby potluck dinner. My feet and legs are aching from work, plus I have practice tonight. I decide four sets of 15 squats may be manageable. 

Success! I complete them while chopping vegetables and cheddar cheese, with mini rewards in between. 15 squats down, I eat a piece of cheese. Another set, some red pepper.

It wasn't pretty, mostly from end of the week and work day exhaustion. But they got done!

Day 4: Rest Day

I woke up feeling good and ready to knock out my squats for the day, but it's nice to have a rest. Instead, I am using some yoga stretches to open up my hips. This damn left hip does not like squatting.


I realized in writing this that most people probably don't exercise in their kitchen and I might be using food and coffee as motivation to get through an exercise routine. I am not sure if this is a good or a bad thing, but if it works for me, so does it matter?

Also, motivation from one's significant other is always nice. When Mr. McKay spies me in the kitchen doing my squats he'll yell things out like, "Yeah, tone that ass!"

He's a dork, but I love him. And really, any excuse for him to stare at my ass is a good one ;)

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

30 DAYS... Let's Have a Challenge!

Last year I participated in the June 30 Day, Spanking Challenge. Pretty much you were supposed to put a blog post up every day in June.

I barely made it to the end and it made me feel like a crazy person. And let's face it, I really only got all 30 posts up because I had a broken ankle at the time with not much else to amuse me.

This year Spanking Romance Reviews is hosting a 30 Day Instagram Challenge. I'll be following along, but I can't post (because apparently you need a smart phone to play on instagram).

But it is June, and June does have 30 days and that just seems so very challenge worthy. I found this saved in a file on my computer. I know I saved it because I was like "Squats are good. I should probably be able to do all of those squats." But in reality, let's face it, I was probably like, "Look! A butt!" Because butts.

I just decided right now in the last five minutes that I am going to do this for the next 30 days. I don't have any grand delusions that my ass will end up looking like that when I am done, but if it does, I will totally post it on the internet! Because if my ass looked like that, I don't think I would ever wear pants again, why cover it up?

So here is my announcement about the 30 Day Squat Challenge. You don't have to join in, but if you want to, go ahead. I plan on keeping a daily log of my torture progress.