Life is About Balance~ And a Good Bra #upbra

Hello, friends! I feel like I fell off the world for a while. But I'm here, I swear! I was feeling a little burnt out and trying to figure out ways to make me feel like myself again.

I've always been a big believer in having some kind of balance. Work hard, play hard. But recently I started taking a yoga class, which has a lot to do with balance figuratively and literally (Oh, hi, tree pose, I see you and you don't scare me...much). I love going to my class on Saturday mornings, I get a little meditative, practice some breathing, and stretch myself into positions I didn't think I'd be able to stretch into.

Mr. McKay and I have also been eating healthier. More salads, more veggies all around, less carbs, and I've been drinking more water. You would think between the healthier diet, yoga, and roller derby that I'd be wasting away to nothing. But, like I said, I'm a big believer in balance. So, maybe I get home from yoga class and then head out to a brewery with my husband where I drink beers and then polish off a cheesesteak. A girl's gotta live.

I honestly have a constant war in my mind between "You only live once" (YOLO, do the kids still say that?) and "You only get one body." I mean, seriously, I don't want to have a heart attack at forty but I also don't want to feel like I'm depriving myself because I've sworn off cookies. I'm not even a big sweets eater, but who can pass up a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie?

The result is, my waistline is not shrinking, but I can do a forward bend and put my hands flat on the floor, which is pretty cool. 

My flexibility aside (which is still amateur at best) I had the honor of celebrating the marriage of two good friends a few weeks ago. I love weddings. They always make me cry. And when you get to witness two people vowing their love for each other, how can you be anything but emotional?

Weddings also mean dressing up. I don't have many occasions to wear dresses and my closet shows it. (Also, please see above about the not so trim waistline.) I went shopping. The day before the wedding. Because who doesn't love a deadline?? The fitting room was hot and stuffy, those lights do not do anyone any favors, and a mother and daughter were fighting in a room adjacent to mine. It was a miniature version of hell inside of a mall department store fitting room. 

I settled. I purchased the first dress that didn't squeeze too tight on my hips and I could zip while still taking a breath. I didn't think it was the best dress I'd ever seen. I didn't even really like it. But every other option either looked like I rolled in sequins and spandex and was about to get on the pole or like I was ready to conduct a meeting about budget cuts. I did remind myself that I wasn't wearing the best bra. It was a glorified sports bra so it was kind of smooshing my boobs down in a weird and unflattering way. 

I made my purchase with the enthusiasm of someone getting a cavity filled and decided to figure the rest out in the morning—the day of the wedding, because why would I give myself time to figure out another option?

The next morning I went to yoga (because I heard there was going to be really good food at the reception and, ahem, balance), then painted my nails, and trudged upstairs to deal with the situation. I pulled open my dresser drawer in search of a miracle. Control top pantyhose? Why do I even own those anymore? I've sworn them off. I had one very unfortunate incident, at a wedding no less, where I ended up trying to peel off my pantyhose in a tiny bathroom stall just so I could breathe after dinner. No one needs that in their life. I actually don't even wear pantyhose at all anymore and my life has only been better for it.

Bypassing the hose, my hand fell upon a bra that was sent to me. It's called the Upbra. I didn't really know what to think when I first received it, it came with an instruction manual. It definitely seemed more high tech and complicated than any bra I would ever explore.

I can happily report that it isn't that complicated. It works just like the regular bras I've been wearing since puberty. The only difference is that it has some hooks at the cleavage so you can enhance and lift even more (or less) if you so choose. I was so eager to try it out when I first received it that I threw it on before heading out to run some errands with Mr. McKay. I didn't bother changing my clothes, I was wearing jeans and a hoodie. Once we got out in public I looked down and realized that my bust looked noticeably enhanced, at least to me. I've been a C-cup since I can remember so I have never bought a push-up bra. But this isn't really a push-up bra. It actually gives a lot of support. And yes, it does enhance what you already have, but on the lowest setting it really just gives a little bit of a helpful lift.

I wore it around for a bit, testing it for comfort. I was pretty convinced the straps would start digging into me and it would be one of those bras that you could only wear for an hour or two tops. My pre-judgment turned out to be wrong. I wore it for the better part of a day and didn't have an issue with the straps or the band digging into me.

Upbra sent me their strapless version as well as the regular convertible bra (has straps but they can be moved or switched around). Up until the point of the wedding I had only worn the regular bra with straps. Now, I stood before my open dresser drawer and it was like a light from above was shining down on the strapless bra. I was going for broke. I was going to wear this strapless bra that I hadn't even tested out yet and I was hoping for the best. Maybe it would be the bra my last resort dress needed.

I don't know if anyone else has had the same checkered past with strapless bras as I have, but I've always ended up with something that was too uncomfortably tight. That stayed where it was supposed to for about fifteen minutes and then as the night progressed would inch lower and lower until I was wearing a cumberbund with cups underneath my dress. 

I wish I could have sent strapless bras to the same land that I banished control top pantyhose to, but I'm not stupid enough to think I can go braless. And a lot of dresses don't let you wear a bra with straps.

So here I was, all my eggs in one basket. It was do or die (okay, it wasn't that dramatic, but I really was out of options and we were leaving in like thirty minutes). I took the strapless Upbra out, unwrapped the fancy tissue paper it was still wrapped in and maybe I crossed my fingers while I snapped on the right hooks and got myself situated.

Do you know what? It was just as comfortable as the one with straps. It didn't dig in and it somehow defied gravity and stayed up. All night. Through the whole wedding, reception, and after party. I feel like I could conquer the world in a good bra and this is it. Do you know what the best part is? When your boobs look amazing no one is looking at your stomach.

Life is about balance. Wear a good bra, eat the cookie. (And ditch the control top.)

Read More

The Satisfyer- Toys in Review

I know I have a weird life. I like it that way and really, what is normal? But my life seems especially weird, surreal even, when people get in touch with me because of this blog. I like this blog, I've not been so active on here as of late, but this blog is my heart. And I get emails every so often from friends and readers. Once in a while sex toy companies want to know if I want free stuff! (Once in a while= twice—but whatever, who's keeping score?)

My first thought when someone sends me an email offering me free stuff is that it's a scam. I mean, really, who expects to be given anything for free? But after a little research and some deciphering I decided that the people at Satisfyer were not out to steal my identity (I mean, Casey McKay is a pen name, so really, you chose poorly to begin with). Anyway, they legitimately just wanted to send me three of their products so that I could review them.

It's not a bad gig. 

Except when they didn't leave the package at my door because it needed a signature and I was afraid I was going to have to go down to the pick up place and have to convince them that I was indeed Casey McKay. I was home when they came the second time so all was okay.

Delivered in a regular box, so my neighbors don't know what's up!

They sent me three versions of their Satisfyer: the Satisfyer Pro, the Satisfyer 2, and the Satisfyer Penguin. To be honest I've never seen a sex toy like this before. Anything I have ever tried was a vibrator or a bullet or some combination of both. If I'm being completely frank (and when am I not) any toy that requires vaginal penetration isn't really my bag. I get that a lot of women like that, but that isn't what gets me going and even the vibrators I have I don't use that way. I usually just end up using it like you would a bullet and give my clit all the attention. To say I was intrigued with these toys that focused all of their attention on this area would be an understatement.

At first glance, they made me a little nervous. I thought there might be some sort of suction or something, but no need to be alarmed, they aren't built to do anything like that. I unpacked them from their boxes and got them charging. The Satisfyer 2 takes two triple A batteries, but the Pro and the Penguin are rechargeable. I like that capability. It sucks to have to rob the TV remote of its batteries when the ones in my vibrator die. It's very handy that these come with their own usb chargers, I can swap out my phone and charge up the toy. Already winning me over with convenience.

Charging up life's essentials

Next up, actually giving them a whirl. I felt a little out of my element. How do I go about this? Do I need to line this thing up exactly with my clit? Should I be using a mirror? The pressure! Clearly, I was overthinking things. I pushed the little button and then placed the Penguin version (the smallest and least assuming) in the general area. Nothing was happening. I didn't know what I was doing wrong. I moved it a few times and thought maybe it was me. But then—oh! Wait, don't move. Right there. Oh, shit. Yeah, that's the spot.

The website describes it as contact-free pleasure, but I don't really think that's the way to describe it. Female toys are either built to penetrate (like real life) or you have some rounded, vibrating thing. The Satisfyer sort of envelopes you. The best comparison I can make is someone going down on you. The reason why I don't think it's contact-free is because your clit is resting inside. It's definitely touching, it feels like every nerve is being pulsed. 

I tried all three of them but didn't notice any discernable difference besides maybe size/portability. All of them are waterproof and one seemed just as powerful as the next. I used them alone first and then we tried one out together. Sometimes you aren't that adventurous when you're using it yourself and you almost lull yourself to sleep. And then sometimes your partner takes it from zero to sixty in two seconds and you almost launch yourself off the bed. Okay, zero to 11, because they have 11 settings. 

The bottom line is, I really like this toy and they have moved into my regular rotation. I like that someone finally figured out a way to treat a clitoris. If you're looking for something a little different, you won't be disappointed!

Read More

Can You Have a Sweet Alpha Male?

How real do you need your characters to be?

I am the first one to say that fiction is fiction, it isn't always entirely believable and I think most readers will forgive some unrealistic characteristics if they like the story and relate with the characters.

I try to make my characters relatable, I want them to seem real, to seem like people you might meet in your day to day life. But I also want them to be nice and likable.

How do you do that when you are writing about a dominant alpha male who spanks?

It is very possible he is going to do or say something that makes you hold your e-reader away from your face and go "Oh, no he didn't!" Possibly with a head swivel and all. 

I think it's also hard to write a modern day, contemporary piece with a woman who gets spanked. Now you have the dual problem of your main man seeming like a dick and the heroine seeming like a simpering fool because she won't stand up for herself.

It's a delicate balance, and you can't make everyone happy. If it is true to life at least a little bit, then some of the characters are going to be a little unlikable once in a while.

Etta Stark actually cracked me up with her review (you can read it here at Spanking Romance Reviews) for my newest book Call Me Yours, she talks about how she really didn't like my hero, Simon, right from the start.

In the book my heroine, Caitlin, needs some cash and she decides to become a phone sex operator. When she first brings the idea up to Simon he tells her in no uncertain terms that she will never do that.

Etta's reaction to this- "What gives, Simon? You give a girl oral sex one time and now you think you get to dictate how she lives her life? Well, that’s not how things work in the real world, matey."

But really, how else would Simon, this dominating alpha male react? Is he going to give her a long drawn out response about how charging per minute for a simulated sexual experience over the phone is setting back the work her feminist sisters have been doing toward women's equality since before she was born?

No.

What dude would say that?

So I gave him a real life answer. He just simply tells her "No."

Don't worry, Caitlin is equally as put off with Simon's answer as Etta was (and I think I was too when writing it).

But my point is- I inadvertently made him a dick, and then when I realized this, I left him that way because it seemed more real to me.

Don't worry, he does redeem himself (at least Etta seemed to think so), we get to see his sweet softer side.

My question is though, how real do we want our romances? I'd like to think I pushed myself this time around in trying to make my characters seem less like characters and more like people. Caitlin is kind of a spoiled princess and she's not exactly the sweetest person to Simon in the beginning. Simon is an alpha male, used to people heeding his advice, he can come off as kind of prickly.

I didn't sugar coat them. I wrote their back and forth arguments as if they were sitting here with me. And then after I got down their words I didn't tone them down, I let them be jerks. Because, in real life, sometimes we're all jerks.

Do you prefer the characters in your romances to be real? Or would you rather have some synthetic sugar coated sweetness?

There is no right answer. I am just curious what readers think.

Amazon

Amazon UK

All Romance

B&N

Smashwords

Read More

The Bossman by Renee Rose- Falling in Love with the Mafia

Today I am sharing my review of Renee Rose's The Bossman. It's no lie that I enjoy reading a good spanking romance. I generally enjoy romances of the historical fashion, but there is something about a contemporary domestic discipline story that, when done well, can be so off the charts hot!

There are so many things that should be unlikable about the hero, Joey La Torre. He's a member of the mafia! He spanks women, sometimes without their consent! He probably owns suits that cost more than my car! (Okay, that last one is just a 'me' thing, but still!)

Here is my review of The Bossman:

Sophie Palazzo finds herself face to face with the Mafia Don's brother, Joey La Torre. She's determined from their first meeting to remain distant from the Mafia life her father had been involved in before his death. But Joey's charm and persistence might prove to be more than Sophie can ignore.

I loved the way Sophie and Joey played off each other. I like a sassy, mouthy heroine and Sophie was charmingly both. I found myself chuckling at the back and forth between the two characters. Renee Rose does an excellent job of making you fall in love with a man that you shouldn't want to fall in love with. I think I fell for Joey right along with Sophie. He works for the Mafia, an organization that does bad things, but there's something about him that makes you want to spend the rest of your life with him.

In The Bossman you experience the highs and the lows with Sophie and Joey. There were parts I found myself laughing out loud, while other parts had tears blurring my vision. I was wishing so hard for their happy ending that at some points I didn't think it was going to be possible. I kept trying to read faster just to make sure everything came out all right.

You should buy this today. Then you should call out of work and lock the door, because you're going to want some time and privacy!

Blurb for The Bossman:

Sophie Palazzo steered clear of the mafia after her father's involvement ended with his murder. Fifteen years later, Joey La Torre, the Don's brother himself, shows up unannounced at her massage studio and wheedles his way into a date. She has no interest in aggressive, macho men like Joey, or so she tries to tell herself, but her body just doesn't get the message. When Joey takes her in hand with a firm bare-bottomed spanking, she ought to be furious, instead, she's aroused. As she explores her physical desires to be dominated, she tries to keep Joey at arm's length emotionally.
Joey knows he wants Sophie for keeps from the moment he walks into her life. She is hot, classy and full of fire, even though submission turns her on. But his involvement in the mafia is a hard limit for her, bringing to conflict his own dedication to the Family, the code of silence and his relationship with his older brother. Can he reconcile his duty to the organization and his growing need for Sophie to remain in his life permanently? 

Buy Links:

Amazon, Amazon UK, ARe, Barnes & Noble

Read More

Taming Megan by Natasha Knight- A Hot Love Story

I've been busy writing and editing and toiling away on projects, but I did find a little bit of time to read in the past few weeks.

Today I would like to share my review of Taming Megan by Natasha Knight. 


This is the third book from the Roark Brother's, and I was already so in love with Luke and Liam that I couldn't wait to meet the third brother, Jake. I was not disappointed!

My Review:

This story is about a newly married couple, Jake and Megan. They're in the first year of their marriage where they are also implementing Domestic Discipline as a mainstay in their relationship. Megan enters the marriage knowing that this is how Jake wants things. She is so in love with him and so happy he is with her that she let's herself ignore it. Until she can no longer ignore it anymore.

I think Ms. Knight did an excellent job portraying a new marriage between a man and his younger wife. Megan is more naive than Jake. She is still figuring herself out and coming into her own whereas Jake is already established in adulthood. Megan is trying to come to terms with her past and overcome the feeling that she is not good enough for her husband.

The characters are very real. I think a lot of people experience similar emotions during the early stages of a relationship. Loving another person so wholly, but not really understanding that they love you back with the same intensity. I enjoyed watching Megan grow into herself, and the scenes between Megan and Jake were so hot I needed a cool drink.

Another home run from Natasha Knight. Do yourself a favor and pick this one up now!

Here is the Blurb for Taming Megan:

Jake Roark is the husband Megan never dreamed she could have—handsome, responsible, kind-hearted, and so much more. Before she ever said her wedding vows, though, she also knew that he was traditional enough to take a misbehaving wife in hand. When the bad habits from the wild life she led before she met Jake begin to resurface, Megan soon finds herself over his knee for a bare bottom spanking. 

Jake's firm hand and old-fashioned ways only increase her love for him, but when a mistake from the past is suddenly thrust into the forefront of her life and her marriage, will Jake's love for Megan be strong enough to keep her in his arms forever, no matter what he learns about her? Publisher’s Note: Taming Megan is a stand-alone sequel to Taming Emma. It is an erotic romance novel that contains graphic sexual scenes, anal play, and spankings, including domestic discipline in a contemporary setting. If such material offends you, please don’t buy this book.

Buy Links:

Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon CA, All Romance, Barnes and Noble, Blushing Books

Read More

Renee Rose is Drunk!

She posted an awesome review of my book Cursed Waters on her blog today.

You can read it here.

She also has all sorts of kind words to say about me. At which I am floored, super excited, and very thankful- but in all seriousness Renee, lay of the sauce.

Read More