Saturday, November 30, 2013

Sign Up for Winter Spanks!

I don't know where the time is going! Thanksgiving is already over and done with. The Christmas season is upon us. I don't know about you but I feel like I probably won't be able to relax again until after New Years.

And then what?

Well, I'll tell you! Some good spanking fun! 

We're having a Winter Spanks Blog Hop, just in time after the holidays, before those winter doldrums can set in. It's January 2nd-4th and it's going to be lots of fun :)

Have a blog? Like spankings? Get all the details and sign up over at Spanking Romance.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Sticky Spanks- Sex Toys Gone Wrong

I make it no secret that my husband and I like to try new, kinky things from time to time. I feel very lucky that he indulges my kinky side and buys us new things to try out.

He had purchased a plethora of goodies for my birthday back in July. So many things that we didn't get a chance to use them all. We've been sporadically trying them out.

One of these items was the Black Rose Spank and Soothe Cream by Doc Johnson.

My thinking is he saw the word 'spank' and thought, "Hey, my lady likes to be spanked." And then clickity clicked, added it to the online cart. (He doesn't really talk like that, this is my imagination)

But it seemed like something different and like it could be fun. The idea of it is the spank cream is supposed to make your butt feel warm and I am guessing the spanking be a bit stingy-er. The ingredients listed on it were ginger, pepper, and cinnamon. Sounds good to me!

Then the soothe cream is supposed to be for after (obviously)- it has aloe in it. Okay, I get the idea, this could be fun! We got nothing else going on tonight, so why the hell not?

We get to a point in the night when we are ready to get down and dirty. I have on some sexy lingerie, we may have watched some cable porn, we are revved up and ready to go. My husband gets the spank cream out and instructs me to bend over the chair in the living room, I eagerly comply, cannot get myself into position quick enough.

It's called a cream, I am assuming it will be the consistency of body lotion, maybe a little thicker. But thinking it will rub in and virtually disappear. My husband starts to apply it. It feels sort of cold, he spreads it on all over both cheeks. I hear him mumble something that sounds like "Should I rub it in more?" He kind of moves his hands back and forth across my ass, and then starts asking me if I feel any different.

"Nope." I feel nothing, but maybe it kicks in as he spanks? Yes, this must be it. He picks up the leather paddle we have and I hear a "thwack" as he smacks it against my ass. I don't really feel anything, but I am aware that he is still holding it against me. I glance back at him to see his perplexed look. Then I hear a "thwuck" as he pulls the paddle back, and out of the sticky goop he applied to me. I immediately bury my face in the cushion of the chair because I am about to lose it, the paddle just got stuck to my ass, this is no longer sexy and has immediately turned into some kind of kinky "I Love Lucy" episode. 

He tries again, getting the same result, and this time he actually mutters, "What the hell?"

My shoulders are shaking in unrestrained laughter at this point.

"Maybe it's this paddle?" He asks me. "I'm going to try something else."

He gets a wooden spoon. We have the same outcome. He shakes his head "This stuff is gross. It's all over everything."

I reach my hand back to touch my butt, and yeah, it's pretty gross. It's tacky to the touch, not only that, but I am feeling nothing from it. No warming, or burning feeling, just sort of sticky and gross.

We are both laughing at this point. But we persevere, we had a game plan in mind dammit and we are not letting some sticky goop get in the way of our fun.

So he loses the implements, and settles on just using his hand to give me a few hard smacks. Then he took me from behind, effectively getting sticky goop all over the front of himself as well.

We had to end our night taking a shower together. A very unsexy shower, as we were using a loofa to try to scrub the goop off, because it is apparently water proof.

I would call this a sex toy fail. We still had fun, but a word to the wise, Beware of the Goop!

Friday, November 22, 2013

Spanks for the Laughs

I am over at Celeste Jones' today for Spanking Stories Book Club talking about my book Cursed Waters.

Celeste mentioned a scene where my heroine, Roxy, loses it during a spanking. Her boyfriend wrongly assumes she's crying, but when he discovers she's laughing he realizes he needs to up his game.

 He dealt out a dozen more spanks and he saw her shoulders shake as she began to cry. He paused for a moment, resting his hand on her lower back. Trevor was trying to determine whether he should continue a bit longer, or stop now that she was crying. He reached down to brush her long hair away from her face. As he did she turned towards him and he realized she wasn't crying at all, she was caught in a fit of laughter. He wasn't expecting that.
“What are you laughing at?” Trevor asked as he struggled to keep his own laughter from bubbling to the surface.
Roxy just shook her head in reply, keeping her mouth firmly clamped shut. Now he was at a loss, where did he go from here? He hadn't actually been punishing her, he just wanted to change her mindset and take a little stress away before they left to meet up with Mrs. Grindle. Were there people who actually knew what they were doing all the time while being in a dominant role? He was definitely making it up as he went along.
“Stand up,” he ordered. He took his hands away from her, offering no help as she struggled to her feet. When she looked back at him questioningly he hoped he exuded some sort of confidence back at her.
“Go into the bedroom and wait for me,” Trevor issued his next order.
“Why?” Roxy looked nervous, and she crossed her arms across her chest as she stared him down. He noticed she wasn't laughing anymore, well at least he had achieved that.

“You'll find out soon enough,” he replied. He raised his eyebrows at her, hopefully conveying the sentiment that he was serious.

Have you ever burst into a fit of laughter at an inopportune moment? Come on over to Celeste's, she poses this question as well as some others that will get you thinking. 

 Roxy Wilson is going through the motions. She's running her deceased grandmother's psychic readings shop, but she's not a psychic. Hoping to expand and just become a gift shop, she contacts her ex-boyfriend, Trevor Dale. Only she doesn't anticipate the feelings she's still having for him after four years of separation.
Trevor could never get Roxy out of his system, and now with her so close to him again, he's reluctant to let her go. But a 40 year- old curse involving evil spells and zombies overtaking the small, seaside town of Ocean Pointe may put a stop to any sort of romantic reunion.
Can Roxy and Trevor break the curse and save their town from zombies? Find out in Cursed Waters!

Buy Links:

Monday, November 18, 2013

Let's Talk Smut!

I don't know if you are aware of this but Celeste Jones hosts a Spanking Stories Book Club over on her blog. When I first discovered this I was over the moon excited. Finally! A place where I could discuss books I was actually reading!

I read. And when I say that I mean it. I read A LOT. I take book recommendations from girls at work, my mother in law, and friends. I would read whatever they were reading, even if I didn't know if I would like it, just so I could discuss it. Then I would read my smut novels in secret. More often than not they were spanking romances. I would try to limit myself. One a week- or two, depending on the week. I would try to keep up with 'regular' books, but read my guilty pleasures in private, with no one to discuss them with. (Okay- full disclosure, I am sure my husband got an earful at one point or another about a spanking book I either found completely off base, completely implausible, or just plain crappy. But he never really cared, I was more or less just talking to myself.)

Then I started writing my own spanking romances. And in the spirit of true sisterhood, I started buying all my fellow author's books (I know, it is a huge cross to bear). I am writing spanking romance, reading spanking romance, talking spanking romance with other authors.

What do I tell the people in my real life that I'm reading? "Oh, it's this silly romance I downloaded for free." No one ever wants the details. If they press I can just start telling them the plot without the spankings.

One day I hope to not be so hidden, but for now, I am sitting in the closet reading (and writing) away. And Celeste has a place to discuss!! My nerdiness takes full reign on book club day!

Imagine my elation when she chose my book for this coming Friday, November 22nd. I feel like I am an Oprah book club selection- only, even better, I am a Celeste Jones Book Club selection (which is better, because Celeste is funnier and sassier than Oprah).

So come join us this Friday. We're talking about Cursed Waters. I'll be there, will you?

Friday, November 15, 2013

#Sat Spanks- Spanked in the Dark

It's that time again! I have another little snippet from Cursed Waters. The hurricane knocked out the power so Roxy and Trevor are fooling around in the dark.  

They felt silky to the touch, and he could feel a lace edge to them. Trevor released her nipple from his mouth and brought his head up.
“What color are they?” he whispered as he ran his finger back and forth across her stomach, just inside the elastic.
“What color do you want them to be?” she answered back, in a mock sultry tone, losing her composure and giggling at the end.
He withdrew his hand from her panties, bringing his hand up and placing a smack somewhere on her mid- thigh.
“Ow,” she squealed. But she was still laughing.

“Don't be such a smart ass,” he said, even as he was running his hand up and down her leg, where he believed he had slapped her. “You're just lucky I can't see anything right now or you'd be getting one hell of a spanking.”

 Roxy Wilson is going through the motions. She's running her deceased grandmother's psychic readings shop, but she's not a psychic. Hoping to expand and just become a gift shop, she contacts her ex-boyfriend, Trevor Dale. Only she doesn't anticipate the feelings she's still having for him after four years of separation.
Trevor could never get Roxy out of his system, and now with her so close to him again, he's reluctant to let her go. But a 40 year- old curse involving evil spells and zombies overtaking the small, seaside town of Ocean Pointe may put a stop to any sort of romantic reunion.
Can Roxy and Trevor break the curse and save their town from zombies? Find out in Cursed Waters!
Warning: This book contains spankings and anal play between two consenting adults. If you are offended by this subject matter, please do not read this.

Buy Links:

Check out all the other blogs for your spanking needs!

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Lurking in my Panties

In honor of Love Our Lurkers Day I thought I would talk about something near and dear to my heart- Lingerie!

I have said it before, and I will say it again. I love it! To the point where I may have a bit of a problem. But I am a savvy shopper. I love scoring a sale and finding matching items for pieces I already own (that sort of sounds like I'm antiquing, not underwear shopping). A lot of times I end up at the discount stores, searching through the racks and racks of things. But this is a crap shoot. Some days I can score a great deal, other days there is nothing worth a second glance.

Anyway, my long standing love affair started many years ago at the old stand by Victoria's Secret. They were having some kind of giant sale. This is where I bought my first pieces of lingerie (2 in fact). I still have them and wear them. Over the years, for special occasions, I would go back to this anchor store to spice up the lingerie box (yes, I have a box of it- which is now overflowing). But recently I have noticed a disturbing trend. Everything sort of looks the same. Nothing looks really all that sexy to me.

Then I thought (gasp) is it me? Do I just own so much lingerie and little sexy things that I have desensitized myself to the sexiness of it all??

I called in an expert. My husband. He confirmed my suspicions. He mentioned something about it all sort of looking the same, there were a lot of flowery patterns, and their Pink collection looks like underwear you can see from space.

Don't get me wrong, I would probably still wear it, but now I know hot pink zebra print is not his thing. Also, I think this is actually a sports bra. That's another thing, why is VS selling workout clothes and regular clothes? Where is all the sexy underwear?

Our anniversary was just in September and I wanted to find something new to add to my collection. But where to go? My husband suggested Frederick's of Hollywood. I forgot this was even a store. I vaguely remember them being in our mall when I was in middle school and every time I walked past the window there was always a lot of fringe and tassles. And that's when it hit me, yes! Fringe and tassles. This could be my kind of place!

I found them online. I lost a good chunk of my day drooling over all the sexy things, debating which items I should splurge on and which I could wait for a sale. Then I loaded up my virtual shopping cart. I anxiously awaited the mail man everyday.

I bought a few items but this pair of panties was by far my favorite (and the reaction I got from my husband was pretty awesome too).

They made me feel instantly sexy. They are completely impractical, but lovely at the same time.

Sure, on an average day I'm usually wearing my cotton, bikini cut panties (not white though- usually striped, or polka dotted, or Muppets). The weekends or when I am going out with my husband I opt for a sexy little lacy thong and matching bra (matching always ups the heat factor for me).

So I want to know, what kind of underwear do you find sexiest? Is there a certain fabric or cut you find sexier? (Either on you or on someone you like looking at in their underwear.)

Stop lurking and leave a comment. I promise I don't bite!

Monday, November 11, 2013

#Spanked While Bound in the Pillory

Natasha's come over for a visit! I'm so excited for her to share some of her brand new book Her Rogue Knight with us today. Apparently she's picked a part she thinks will appeal to me and my readers.

I just started Her Rogue Knight this weekend and I cannot put it down. I won't take up anymore time- I am just saying, do something nice for yourself and buy this book, you can thank me later.


I can't be alone in thinking being locked in a pillory in preparation for your punishment spanking is hot, can I? Not for readers of Casey's blog, surely… 

Thanks Casey for having me here today. I tried to find you a nice little snippet with a spanking - and just a tiny bit more of something I think you'll like…

This is one of my favorite scenes from Her Rogue Knight. Well, I'm just sharing the start of it here. In this scene, Sir William has just found and killed the men who carried Gemma off after she disobeyed him and went off on her own in search of her sister. Her kidnappers had locked her in a pillory, which is just how Sir William finds her. He decides to take care of her punishment before releasing her from the humiliating device.

* * * *

“Oh, Sir William! I’m so happy to see you,” Gemma began. “How did you find me?” she asked, watching his face as he approached her. His unsmiling face.

Without a word, he set his sword down against a nearby post and came to inspect her hands, her wrists, her neck.

“If you’ll lift it off, I can move again. This is the worst thing… what are you doing?” she asked when he went behind her.

“You could have been killed,” he said, his voice tightly controlled. “And have you considered what you have cost your sister?”

She gasped when in the next instant, he raised the back of both her dress and her shift high and tucked them inside the neck of her corset.

“What are you doing?” she asked again, her voice quiet, unable to turn her head to see. She now stood trapped in the pillory, that alone humiliating enough, but with her back bared—her bottom bared—she felt absolutely undone.

“Do you have any idea what your stubborn actions could have cost?” he asked.

She heard the sound of him releasing his sword belt.

“Sir William!” she yelled, her skin prickling with the realization of what he was about to do. “No, please!”

She hadn’t even processed the sound before leather burned its mark on the flesh of her bottom, the lash wrapping painfully around her hip. Gemma screamed with the stroke, trying to free herself but unable to.

“What will it take?” he began, striking again.

“Please!” she begged when the next one seared her bottom.

“For you to learn,” he continued, ignoring her cries altogether as he lashed her again and again. The next two struck her sit spots. Although the leather just touched her sex, the sting of it was so painful on so sensitive a spot that she felt as though she would pass out.

But she did not as he laid another six out, these on the backs of her thighs.

Gemma screamed with each stroke; it was her only outlet since she was unable to move, trapped as she was. Her voice came out strange, uneven as she gave herself over to her punishment.

“What will it take for you to learn to obey?” These next six were the worst of all and Gemma’s body sagged forward. Each stroke came fast on the heels of the last, so she had not a moment’s reprieve.
“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry. Please stop, Sir William! Please stop!”

“Six more.”

“No! Please no!”

He paused for a moment and came up close behind her. His face touched hers as his hand gripped one buttock hard. She flinched and gasped, clenching her bottom tight.

“Do you have any idea how those men would have used you?” he asked, his voice a menacing whisper. “Do you know what they would have done to a girl like you?” He now gripped both buttocks, pulling them apart, his fingers finding her sex.

“Please don’t!” She stilled, tears streaming from her eyes.

“Do you know what they would have done to you here?” he asked, his breath again on her neck, her ear. His fingers touched the opening of her sex, then his thumb and forefinger found her nub. He rubbed.

She gasped, her eyes going wide, her body perfectly still. This sensation was new and very different to what he’d just subjected her to.

“Or here?” he asked, and just as she began to relax into him, he released her clit and his fingers traveled up the cleft between her buttocks to her bottom hole…


Since her mother’s death, Gemma’s aging father has grown weaker with every passing year, and she has all but raised her younger sister Alys. Lethal with a bow in her hand, she keeps her family safe… until the day they are caught by surprise and Alys is taken by a band of outlaws. In desperation, her father pleads for aid from a reclusive knight by the name of Sir William and pledges him Gemma’s hand in marriage in repayment for the safe return of her sister.

When Gemma ignores her father’s instructions and sets out on her own to rescue Alys, she discovers that this gruff, unkempt, and yet undeniably handsome brute is more than her match, and the lesson is brought home with a sound spanking on her bare bottom. With no time to waste taking the brave and feisty yet hopelessly naïve eighteen-year-old back home, Sir William has no choice but to bring her along as he pursues her sister’s captors. Though he might not admit it, however, he relishes the thought that he might have to punish her again, and with every glimpse of her delicious curves his lust intensifies.

In spite of his firm chastisement and his demand for her unquestioning obedience, Gemma finds her feelings for Sir William evolving rapidly. She begins to wonder what it would feel like to be stripped bare and held tight in his strong arms, helpless and blushing, yet longing for him to claim her hard and thoroughly.

Even as her desire for him grows stronger, she frets about the secrets he keeps from her. His skill in battle alone tells her that he is no mere woodsman, and the hilt of his sword bears a marking that cannot be mistaken—a symbol that she believed had passed into legend. Can she trust this man with her life and that of her sister? Will he fail her in her hour of greatest need, or will her rogue knight prove himself worthy of not only her submission but her love as well?

Publisher’s Note: Her Rogue Knight is an erotic novel that includes spankings, anal play, graphic sexual scenes, elements of BDSM, and more. If such material offends you, please don’t buy this book.

Friday, November 8, 2013

#SatSpanks- Completely His

Today, I bring you another snippet from Cursed Waters. It's now available for purchase!
The following part comes while Trevor is chastising Roxy for putting her life in danger... again. He's already tried to spank her and she had a bit of a freak out, so he's sent her to the corner to calm down.

Could she have this kind of relationship again? It had been a long time since anyone had spanked her, in fact no one had since Trevor. She thought she missed it, but this encounter was giving her second thoughts. She placed her forehead on the wall and focused on breathing in and out to calm herself down.
She heard Trevor moving behind her and then felt him at her back. He slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her back to his front. One hand traveled up and massaged her neck and shoulders. The hand still at her waist began working on the button of her jeans. Roxy let her arms go limp at her sides and closed her eyes. She loved when Trevor undressed her, even if his intention was to punish her, it made her feel completely his.

Cursed Waters Blurb:
 Roxy Wilson is going through the motions. She's running her deceased grandmother's psychic readings shop, but she's not a psychic. Hoping to expand and just become a gift shop, she contacts her ex-boyfriend, Trevor Dale. Only she doesn't anticipate the feelings she's still having for him after four years of separation.
Trevor could never get Roxy out of his system, and now with her so close to him again, he's reluctant to let her go. But a 40 year- old curse involving evil spells and zombies overtaking the small, seaside town of Ocean Pointe may put a stop to any sort of romantic reunion.
Can Roxy and Trevor break the curse and save their town from zombies? Find out in Cursed Waters!
Warning: This book contains spankings and anal play between two consenting adults. If you are offended by this subject matter, please do not read this.
Buy Links:

Check out all the other Saturday Spankings posts as well!

How Do You Get a Feminist to Spank You?

I've never really described myself as a feminist but I think that is mostly because I am in my early 30's and I am a woman... how could I not be a feminist? No one ever asked before so I never told them.

Someone gave me flack about taking my husband's name after we were married. I thought it was strange for this person to accuse me of being anti-feminist because I changed my last name. Their argument was it was an antiquated tradition. Well the reason was I grew up with an Italian last name that no one could pronounce. Let me also say that I do not look Italian at all, so to take my husband's Irish, easy to pronounce and spell, last name seemed like a nice way to simplify things.

Accusing me of being anti-feminist when you don't even know my reasons is pretty ignorant. Accusing anyone of standing for or against something without knowing their reasons is also judgmental. I didn't view my taking my husband's last name as anti-feminist because I know I am not, just like asking my husband to spank me does not feel anti-feminist to me. In both cases it was my decision. I am the one who initiated both things.

I will tell you the problem I have with feminism in a relationship where you are trying to integrate spanking. When you have a man as the spanker and he is asked to spank the female (as is my case) and he is a feminist and it just doesn't seem right to him.

When I first revealed my spanking kink to my husband he was quick to reassure me that he didn't think I was weird and that he was totally okay with it. Great! I tell him what I want, he's okay with it, this should be easy!

Wrong. Very wrong. It seems we both had different ideas of what 'spanking' meant. To my husband this was smacking me once or twice while we were having sex. Although, I will take it where I can get it, this is not really what I meant. So after talking to him, trying to express a little more of what I wanted, reassuring him that I at least wanted to try, and still getting nowhere- I realized our problem. My husband, stubborn and commanding as he can be in everyday life, very much would leave anything going on in the bedroom up to me. This has been since forever. We met in high school when I was a sweet, innocent, good girl. And I stayed that way, mostly because my husband never pressed anything. Things only progressed when I took them to another level, he was never the initiator. It was drilled into his head from a young age to be nice to girls. Not to take advantage, not to make them feel less than him, always listen to them, and treat them as equals.

This is great. This was especially great when we were younger and I never felt like things were going to go further than I was comfortable with. If I started to get freaked out or nervous I trusted him to stop and he did, I could always count on him to put my needs first. I am sure this is what led to me marrying him. We are a team, we are equals, he listens when I have something to say. Sure, he makes a lot of the decisions, mostly because I don't want to, or I ask him to, but that is just how we work. He has the more dominant personality... until we get in the bedroom.

So how do you get a feminist to spank you? By asking very nicely. And reassuring that this is not changing anything between you. It's been a lot of talking, and a lot of communicating, and I think we are making a lot of headway.

There have been a few blips. Like when we decided to try some implements out instead of just his hand. Apparently the wooden spoon was not a good one to start with. We weren't very far when I squeaked out an “Ow!”

And we were done. He completely shut down. He couldn't get over the fact that he had hurt me. Even though I tried to explain multiple times that it didn't really hurt, there was no lasting damage, and I asked him to do it. I told him it was okay and his response was, “No, it's not okay.”

He looked so guilt ridden it made me feel awful. Ending our night with him feeling guilty for hurting me and me feeling guilty for asking him to was not really how I had planned things to turn out. So we talked about it, and talked some more. And emailed about it (yes, we emailed about it). It came down to this- he feels like a jerk when he takes the lead in the bedroom (apparently this same feeling does not kick in when he is criticizing the way I drive- but that is neither here nor there), but I feel turned on when he takes over.

I have made it clear that what happens in the bedroom (or the living or bathroom for that matter) has no bearing on my view of him. I know I am his equal, we are a team, but I am giving him all control sexually and I love it. It's been baby steps. He doesn't stop anymore if I say “ow” (although I would rather bite my lip until I draw blood than say that again). But now he will just respond with a “Sorry,” and “do you want me to stop?” And we take it from there. Sometimes I say yes, stop, other times (most times) I say no, don't stop yet!

I think I'd rather take my feminist husband that I have to convince and cajole into spanking me rather than a caveman type that would bulldoze me. But every couple is different and every relationship works differently. We're still figuring out what works for us and I hope we never stop experimenting.

Please visit all the other blogs too. And you have anything to add or any comments you want make- they are strongly encouraged!

Monday, November 4, 2013

Hotter Than Fiction

So much book pimping, I have not posted about anything fun in forever!

At this point I will ask if you all got to read my Spank or Treat story?? If not, go take a quick perusal. I actually wrote this little scene because I bought a corset. It's black lace with satiny blue underneath and so hot! Only problem was, it has a million hooks in the back, that I cannot fasten myself.

Upon sharing my dilemma with my online buddies, someone suggested having my husband help me don said corset.

Um, okay, but how is that hot? Also, will Mr. McKay be able to fasten all these little hooks without just throwing the damn thing across the room?

These are questions that needed to be answered.

We both took a few vacation days from work and went away a few nights. I brought all the kink with us, because really, 'hotel room sex' gets way hotter and dirtier than 'at home sex'.

I figure I should let him know what the hell is going on before I spring this on him. I mean, what if he can't do up the corset? What if he gets performance anxiety over the little clasps? I am way over thinking this, but I keep asking him to read my story and he won't. (He won't read anything I write- occasionally my blog- but only if there is nothing 'weird' going on). I told him I sort of wrote out a fantasy a la Ruby Sparks or Stranger Than Fiction.

So I just tell him. “I bought this corset.”
His eyebrows raise and I am momentarily more interesting than ESPN, “Oh yeah?”
I nod my head, “Yup, but you have to help, I can't get all the little hooks in the back.”
He thinks about this a minute, “Okay, then what?”
“We get a drink maybe? I brought a cute dress I want to wear.”

We successfully get me into the corset, and wow, it's pretty hot. It lifts my boobs up and cinches my waist in and there is a little black lace ruffle thing all along the bottom that sort of frames my ass (I know, I checked it out in the mirror).

I forgo the black lacy top thigh highs I brought with me and just let the garters hang, attached to nothing. (He still thinks they're hot even unattached.)

I go to get the dress out of the closet but he stops me. He pulls me into the living room area of the hotel room and tells me to bend over the chair. Well now my knees are weak with anticipation and I am more than a little turned on. I hear him rustling around in our bags and he comes back in the room with the new glass butt plug he bought and some lube.

He comes up behind me, running his hands up and down my legs, I am practically trembling with excitement and I have never felt hotter in my life. He pushes me forward and I bring my knees up on the seat of the chair, so I am kneeling and facing the back. He pulls my itty bitty matching thong aside and starts working his fingers on my clit. I am so built up with anticipation that I am already on the edge of an orgasm. So when he starts spanking me I am jerked back into the present and momentarily thrown off. (I think I should mention that I may have told him in the past that he wasn't spanking hard enough... seems I should have kept my mouth shut. We went from 'not hard enough' to 'why are you trying to kill me?'- I'm joking obviously, but there was a big jump in intensity.)

Now my ass is burning and I kindly ask him to stop for a moment so I can catch my breath. Well he stops spanking, but his hand is still working my clit and now his other hand has wandered towards the back and I am bucking and coming with such intensity that I don't even know what hit me. As I am coming down from my orgasm I am vaguely aware of him prodding me with the butt plug. He pops it in and I gasp at the sudden intrusion. I am draped over the back of the chair panting. He puts my thong back in place, pats my thigh and announces “Okay, I'll be ready in a few minutes. Let's get some drinks,” and walks out of the room.

It took me a few minutes to pull myself back together, but I was still ready before him. We head down to the hotel bar split a few appetizers and have a couple of drinks. We make small talk with the bartender and I don't think my husband ever took his hand off my thigh as I shifted around on the unforgiving wooden bar stool. I am completely turned on and even though the bar gets crowded I feel like we are the only two in the room.

We pay our bill and head back towards the elevator. His hands never lose contact with my body. He is either lightly touching my waist, holding my hand, or rubbing my shoulders. I'm seriously ready to jump him in the elevator.

We can't get our electric key card in the door fast enough. We stumble into the room and my husband pushes the ottoman up to the end of the bed. Turns out I am at the perfect height for anal sex if I kneel on the ottoman (this is a big deal, we have height issues because I am 5'4” and he is 6', we are never lined up correctly if you get my drift).

I'm kneeling on the ottoman, bracing myself with my hands on the end of the bed. He removes the butt plug and takes me from behind. It was amazing. I would add more detail but I don't know if it was the two margaritas or just the attack of orgasms but I have vague blurry details of what was actually happening.

Eventually I am laying face down in the middle of the bed. Still in my corset but the thong is long gone. My husband leans over and whispers to me “You're boobs look fucking hot in that, by the way.”

I just laughed. Laughing until I couldn't catch my breath and tears were rolling down my face. Because really? He just made me orgasm so hard I didn't know what day it was, I can't really complain that he doesn't know how to speak to me like a romance novel hero. If this were a romance novel he would have said “You're the most gorgeous creature ever. I can't imagine living without you.”

I guess I'll take the compliment that my boobs look fucking hot in a corset. Because life is not a romance novel, but sometime's real life is hotter than fiction.