Something to Hang by the Fire

It's been a weird year. It feels like it's been an unbelievably long year and in many ways I don't feel like the same person that started it out.

A major change this year is that I finally upgraded to a smartphone. This sounds like a strange thing to single out in this year of emotions and events and lots of very not so good things. But I'm realizing more and more that it has changed my every day life. And it also scares me how much I have come to rely on it and how much it knows about me! Why does it know things about me?? It's scary.

Anyway, aside from never being lost ever again (for the directionally challenged, GPS on my phone is literally the best thing ever), I can now check my email 4,000 times a day.

A fun fact: there is no reason why you should ever need to check your email this much. Another fact: I never get important emails. 

I have about four email addresses that I use frequently. The one linked up to my phone is my main, real name, the one I don't give out to email lists, way to get in touch with me. Currently, I am stuck in a group email with extended family about the best date to get together for Christmas at my grandmother's. I'm mostly staying out of it and pretending I haven't checked my email 4,000 and one times today. I'm going to see how it all shakes out and then plan my illness accordingly. 

It wasn't until the smartphone and the easy accessibility to this email that I realized at one point in time I made an error in judgment and gave Frederick's of Hollywood my main email address. Not really a big deal. I could unsubscribe. 

But I haven't because I am completely enthralled by just how many emails they send in one day. And how many sales they have! So many sales!

I mean, I am a huge supporter of purchasing lingerie. My love of shopping kind of died when I became an adult and had actual bills to pay, I no longer get a thrill out of buying new clothes. Instead, occasionally, I am forced to buy new yoga pants because all of the ones I own have random holes in them and aren't even safe to wear when bringing out the trash.  

But cute underwear? I'll buy that all day long. Especially on sale!

I get an average of three emails a day from Frederick's of Hollywood. I know, right? It should be annoying. I should be forced right into the unsubscribe territory. But instead, it kind of delights me. 

All of them have such urgency. TIME IS RUNNING OUT

Oh, man. Time is running out, what am I missing?

BIGGEST SALE OF THE YEAR!

Is it though?

One of my favorites, marketed toward the gentlemen:

Get Her The BIGGEST Gift

Obviously, yeah, you should do that. Of course, my curiosity was piqued so I opened it. Did you know a giftcard is always the right size? Clever.

Anyway, it's become a running joke in my house and part of my everyday. My phone will buzz and blink and make some weird noise (I still have no idea how to set my sounds and tones). 

"Oh my god, babe, I just got a super important email."

My husband looks up from his laptop.

"Cyber Monday is back!"

He's started responding to me with subject lines of Victoria's Secret emails that inundate his inbox. 

So our typical dinner conversation has turned into,

Me: Your 48 hours of savings is almost up. What are you doing right now??

Him: Oh, sorry, I was shopping for gifts for my naughty and nice list!

I have been shopping for stocking stuffers. It is the one tradition that stands, Mr. McKay gets a stocking full of lingerie. But I don't fall into the trap of thinking my time is limited on this sale. The only thing that is limited is the amount of time you have to purchase that lace trimmed thong in a large in Prism Violet, because they never have a large in the color I want! Okay, sometimes they do, but I'm telling you, don't wait too long. Today it's 50% off, tomorrow it might only be 30% off with a free shipping code (sometimes the better deal if you ask me).

TIME IS RUNNING OUT

(It really isn't, but it's nice to feel like I have something urgent going on.)

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Christmas Movies to Chillax With

I love Christmas and I love watching Christmas movies. I know some people who will watch Christmas movies any time of the year, but I personally don't like to. They don't elicit the same feelings for me when not around the holidays.

Someone recently asked me my top 5 favorite Christmas movies. Believe it or not it was hard to narrow down!

In no particular order (because sometimes it's by my mood and not just which movie is better) here are my Top 5 favorite Christmas movies.



Die Hard

It's Christmas Eve, which automatically just makes it a Christmas movie. Besides, it's Bruce Willis just being a total badass. It gives me all the feels and really does get me more into the holiday spirit. Sometimes you are not in a "It's a Wonderful Life" kind of mood. Sometimes you just need to see John McClane in a bloodied tank top trying to save his wife's life.

Elf

The thing is, this is still a "new" Christmas movie to me. Even though it came out in 2003. Technically I was an adult (I was still in college and still lived at home- but technically an adult). I didn't want to like this movie. I saw Will Ferrell starring in it in that ridiculous get up and it pissed me off. He was mocking my favorite holiday! Only, it turns out, Elf is not mocking Christmas at all, it's shedding light on how cynical and commercialized we have all become about the holidays. I watch this every year and it never fails to get me in the spirit.  (Plus it has Zooey Deschanel as a blonde, which is super weird)

Love Actually

Love Actually is one of those movies that tears me down to eventually build me back up. I can't watch this movie if I am already feeling emotional. Or, if I feel like I need a good cry, then it's therapeutic. But it does mix enough humor and quirkiness with the sad, that's why I love it. And also, Christmas! I know you have all seen it, so really, enough said.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

This almost didn't make it in the top 5. And I will admit I don't really watch it every year because it is one of those movies that you can get sick of. But we recently watched it again and I still laughed pretty hard at parts. I think it holds up over time. It's a good movie to wrap presents to because you don't have to really pay attention to it.

The Shop Around the Corner

Did you know You've Got Mail is based on this movie? If you're nerdy and into movies (like me) you might have known that.  I love old movies and ever since I watched this one in high school, I end up watching it every Christmas season. Jimmy Stewart and Margaret Sullavan work in a leather goods shop together, they don't like each other and always end up arguing. They also don't realize they are each other's respective pen pals. It gets a little schmaltzy at the end, but I like that kind of thing. It's also not just about the two main characters, but the people they work with in the shop.

I just recorded this over the weekend and can't wait to watch it again! Mr. McKay says he wants to watch it with me.

These aren't the only Christmas movies I like, just my top 5. Of course there are runners up!

What's your favorite Christmas movie?

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The Man Who Wouldn't Spank and His Christmas Elf

I've had off from the day job this week so Mr. McKay and I have gotten to spend a lot of time together. It's been great. I've enjoyed every minute of it.

I'm sure he has too. Although, don't ask him while I am in the middle of blaring Christmas music and decking the halls. He quietly sticks his ear buds in and goes back to hunching over his laptop while I belt out Christmas carols and take pictures of the cats getting into the Christmas decorations.

Just an average day in our house.

Mr. McKay is a self-proclaimed Grinch. Although, I will let you in on a secret. I don't think he is very grinch-y at all. 

His reasons are:

He hates Christmas music (to be honest, I don't blame him on this, and he is pretty picky about his music selections in general).

He hates when stores put Christmas stuff out too early.

He hates the commercialization of the holiday.

He doesn't want anything for Christmas.

I can counter all of these reasons (he doesn't listen to me though). The actual Grinch wanted ALL of the presents. He robbed Who-ville of all of their Christmas things, so not wanting gifts actually does not make you a grinch (it makes it annoying for your wife who is still trying to find something to buy you, but it doesn't make you a grinch).

Getting annoyed about the commercialization of the holiday? I think that makes you even more the opposite of a grinch. Yes, Christmas decorations popping up in stores around the end of August kind of ruins the season for me too. It shouldn't be forced upon us too early, that's just overkill.

Before we were married, one of the first Christmases we spent together, we were literally scraping together change from the cup holders in the car to buy presents for our families. We went to a discount store the week before Christmas and they had a Toys for Tots donation box. It was Mr. McKay's idea to buy two toys to put in the box, even though we were already on a limited budget and had numerous gifts to buy. We both picked out a toy and dropped them in the box on our way out.

That's not very grinch-like.

One year we were so short on cash and we were both working multiple jobs, I declared I wasn't putting up a tree. I was too tired and my heart wasn't in it. I came home one day to our artificial tree standing in the living room. He put it up himself and stacked the decorations next to it, because that's my favorite part. Would a grinch do that?

Maybe I am just ruining his street cred. He's built up a reputation of being a Holidays hating, grinchy, Scrooge. And he does get visibly annoyed anytime I argue that he isn't.

To me he isn't any of those things. He's loving and generous and kind. He's open minded and non-judgmental. When I presented him with my kinky side he rose to the challenge and experimented with me. There's been plenty of Christmases and birthdays now where he has gifted me with spanking implements and sex toys. 

From a man who didn't want to spank me because he was afraid of hurting me, to someone who doesn't need an implement in his hand to make me sore for hours (as I write this I have a huge smile on my face).

He'll spend half his day driving to different stores in congested holiday shopper craziness to find the perfect Christmas socks to put in my stocking. And he'll spend half his night researching spanking, among other things, to indulge his crazy wife.

He can call himself a grinch if he wants to. I'll try not to let everyone I meet know how untrue that is. I'm excited to spend the rest of my Chistmases with him.

He's taking me out tonight to see Elf at a local movie theater. We'll smuggle in Christmas cookies in my purse. He'll tell you he is in it for the cookies. But when he takes the long way home so we can look at Christmas lights I'll pretend not to notice that he forgot to be a grinch, just for a little bit.

He might be a grump, but he isn't a grinch. And he's all mine.

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