The Satisfyer- Toys in Review

I know I have a weird life. I like it that way and really, what is normal? But my life seems especially weird, surreal even, when people get in touch with me because of this blog. I like this blog, I've not been so active on here as of late, but this blog is my heart. And I get emails every so often from friends and readers. Once in a while sex toy companies want to know if I want free stuff! (Once in a while= twice—but whatever, who's keeping score?)

My first thought when someone sends me an email offering me free stuff is that it's a scam. I mean, really, who expects to be given anything for free? But after a little research and some deciphering I decided that the people at Satisfyer were not out to steal my identity (I mean, Casey McKay is a pen name, so really, you chose poorly to begin with). Anyway, they legitimately just wanted to send me three of their products so that I could review them.

It's not a bad gig. 

Except when they didn't leave the package at my door because it needed a signature and I was afraid I was going to have to go down to the pick up place and have to convince them that I was indeed Casey McKay. I was home when they came the second time so all was okay.

Delivered in a regular box, so my neighbors don't know what's up!

They sent me three versions of their Satisfyer: the Satisfyer Pro, the Satisfyer 2, and the Satisfyer Penguin. To be honest I've never seen a sex toy like this before. Anything I have ever tried was a vibrator or a bullet or some combination of both. If I'm being completely frank (and when am I not) any toy that requires vaginal penetration isn't really my bag. I get that a lot of women like that, but that isn't what gets me going and even the vibrators I have I don't use that way. I usually just end up using it like you would a bullet and give my clit all the attention. To say I was intrigued with these toys that focused all of their attention on this area would be an understatement.

At first glance, they made me a little nervous. I thought there might be some sort of suction or something, but no need to be alarmed, they aren't built to do anything like that. I unpacked them from their boxes and got them charging. The Satisfyer 2 takes two triple A batteries, but the Pro and the Penguin are rechargeable. I like that capability. It sucks to have to rob the TV remote of its batteries when the ones in my vibrator die. It's very handy that these come with their own usb chargers, I can swap out my phone and charge up the toy. Already winning me over with convenience.

Charging up life's essentials

Next up, actually giving them a whirl. I felt a little out of my element. How do I go about this? Do I need to line this thing up exactly with my clit? Should I be using a mirror? The pressure! Clearly, I was overthinking things. I pushed the little button and then placed the Penguin version (the smallest and least assuming) in the general area. Nothing was happening. I didn't know what I was doing wrong. I moved it a few times and thought maybe it was me. But then—oh! Wait, don't move. Right there. Oh, shit. Yeah, that's the spot.

The website describes it as contact-free pleasure, but I don't really think that's the way to describe it. Female toys are either built to penetrate (like real life) or you have some rounded, vibrating thing. The Satisfyer sort of envelopes you. The best comparison I can make is someone going down on you. The reason why I don't think it's contact-free is because your clit is resting inside. It's definitely touching, it feels like every nerve is being pulsed. 

I tried all three of them but didn't notice any discernable difference besides maybe size/portability. All of them are waterproof and one seemed just as powerful as the next. I used them alone first and then we tried one out together. Sometimes you aren't that adventurous when you're using it yourself and you almost lull yourself to sleep. And then sometimes your partner takes it from zero to sixty in two seconds and you almost launch yourself off the bed. Okay, zero to 11, because they have 11 settings. 

The bottom line is, I really like this toy and they have moved into my regular rotation. I like that someone finally figured out a way to treat a clitoris. If you're looking for something a little different, you won't be disappointed!

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A Teasing Trio~ Untamed Hearts

I had a crazy jam-packed weekend! It was all fun though. But I've just come up for air to share a little snippet from my just released menage romance. Untamed Hearts is now available on Kindle Unlimited!!

This scene picks up where the last one left off. Our two men are teasing poor Kate who still doesn't completely realize what she's signed up for.

"How do you feel about nipple play? That might not be the most relaxing thought to contemplate, but I always feel like the after effects are relaxing."
She watched as he dangled the chain in front of her. She knew what nipple clamps were, she didn't live under a rock. Had she ever had them attached to her nipples? That was a different subject entirely. 
"Your silence speaks volumes," Aaron said to her. "I forgot how exciting it could be with a newbie." He directed this statement at Ben, excitement in his tone.
Kate moved to cover her breasts, which seemed very unprotected with just her bra covering them. She ended up laying flat on her back as she had to move her arms which had been propping her up. Before she could cover herself Aaron grabbed her wrists and stretched her arms up over her head. Her nipples hardened and she cursed her traitorous body. She wasn't sure she wanted to make this easier for them. 
"Don't tie her up. Not this time."
She looked over at Ben, what did he mean? Would they tie her up some other time?
"I don't think I'll need to. You'll keep your hands where I put them, right babe?"

A million thoughts flooded her mind. Nipple clamps, tying her up, and when exactly did she become Aaron's babe? That term really rubbed her the wrong way—normally. But for some reason, coming out of his mouth, it made Kate feel warm inside.

Blurb:

Kate needs a change. Nothing is keeping her in New York anyway. She's getting kicked out of her apartment, she can't hold down a job, and her dating prospects seem to get worse by the day. When the chance of a lifetime presents itself, she doesn't want to say no. Despite her friend, Elle, warning her to reconsider—Kate leaps at the opportunity. A trip to Alaska? A chance at love? But there's a catch, she'll be working for a tabloid magazine who commissioned her to get a sultry story. Will she stoop low enough to use herself as bait?

Ben and Aaron are living a nearly ideal existence. They have a close-knit community that understands their lifestyle and a good life out in remote Alaska. The trouble is, it can be hard to find a woman with their shared interests. With their options being limited, Ben places an online ad looking for a woman. When Kate pops into their life they both know that nothing will ever be the same. She's smart, funny, and she is undeterred by their lifestyle, even though she is unaware before she agrees to fly out to meet them. But can they trust that her intentions are pure? Can the three of them find a way to follow their hearts? 

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Shame Gardening and a "Punishment" Spanking

Mr. McKay and I live in a townhouse (he likes to say- "This is our Tiny House," when I watch Tiny House Nation on HGTV), our neighbors are close because we share walls with them.

We try our best to be friendly. I don't need to be friends with all of them, but it's nice to say hi to the people you share a porch with. Or to know that someone will let you borrow their snow shovel to dig your car out if yours happens to break during a blizzard.

A new neighbor moved in next door to us in the beginning of the summer. She has been dubbed "the weird dog lady." I know we shouldn't talk. We can easily be the weird cat people. But, she's weird. 

She's nice enough, and we have worked up to getting her to say hi. Before she would act like she didn't see us and then dart back into her house. Or wait in her car until we passed by before she got out to walk to her door. Maybe she was sizing us up. Now, she does say hello to us, but it always has a theme. She either mentions our cats, which she sees in our big front picture window, or she says something about the landscaping crew that comes once a week.

She likes to garden. Now mind you, we live in townhouses, each of us has a tiny little 2'x4' patch of dirt in front of the front window that has shrubs in it. Our community has a housing association and they send out a landscaping crew. We still aren't clear—after 7 years of living here—if it is our responsibility to weed this little plot of land, or their's.

Some people plant a few flowers in there, the lawn crew seems to leave them all alone. The most we ever do is Mr. McKay will buy new mulch every spring to throw under the shrubs and cover up the weeds that are growing there. We also have some flowers growing in a tiny sliver of dirt beside our back deck. 

I am not a gardener. I don't enjoy any part of it. Dirt. Bugs. Sweat. It's not my cup of tea. We never had neighbors that did much to the outside of their house. And now this lady moves in and she's making our half-assed mulching look sad compared to her vast garden.

I don't really care if people look and judge. I have been making myself nervous that she is going to report us to the housing association for out of control weeds or dead flowers. You do not want the housing association on your back. They leave letters in your door and threaten to fine you. We have had notices about our back porch light (the globe around the bulb was cracked), ivy growing on the front of our house, and an old picnic table that our landlords left here that the association thought looked "rickety." Well, it was rickety, but it also wasn't ours. 

So we have these flowers out back. And they all died. My mother in law mentioned that if we cut the heads off they would re-bloom. They also kind of spread and started growing in the cracks of our deck and I kept saying we should do something about that. (Really hoping Mr. McKay was going to take the hint because he likes doing garden-y things more than me.)

The flowers before they died. Picture this mess but dead and brown.

I built up the paranoia in my mind and was convinced that weird dog lady was going to report our lazy gardening skills to the housing association. This weekend the weather was beautiful, it was mild and sunny. So I ventured out back. Ten minutes into my foray in gardening I had tiny cuts in my hands, I kept screeching when a bug flew in my face, and despite the cool breeze I was sweating. But I was barely halfway through and couldn't abandon the project because then it would look really obvious I had started to make an effort and decided against it. 

Forty-five minutes later all of the dead flowers had been removed. Weeds had been pulled up and things looked tidier. Whether or not the flowers would re-bloom was yet to be determined, but I had dirt under my nails and grass in my flip flops so I was done.

Meanwhile, the night before we had a late dinner. When it comes to dinner we have unspoken roles that we've never discussed. Mr. McKay normally cooks (he likes to, I hate it) and then I will pack up leftovers and clean up. I am not a night person and we ended up eating so late that I was almost immediately falling asleep on the couch. 

Dinner never got packed away.

At 8am I discovered the leftovers still out in the kitchen. I packed them up, wondering if I was going to kill us both with food poisoning in doing so—it was chicken. After stowing them in the fridge I left for work and had second thoughts about saving the leftovers, even though it kills me to throw food away.

So I texted Mr. McKay, he works from home and usually has whatever we had for dinner the night before for lunch. I warned him that the leftovers were probably no good and we should toss them. His reply? "I'll deal with you later."

Yum! Yes, please! (Am I not supposed to be that eager?)

I nearly forgot about this threat (or promise, really). 

Until I was back inside the house after my foray in gardening. I took a shower to wash the outside off of me and I came out of the bathroom in a puff of steam, my wet hair dripping down my back. Mr. McKay trailed behind me, following me into our bedroom. As I slipped on fresh panties and rifled through the laundry basket for a shirt, he snagged me by the waist. 

"Gardening makes you grumpy," he observed as he kissed me.

I agreed. 

"I can fix that."

Before I asked him how he intended to fix my mood, he stood up and pulled my panties down. He pushed me forward until my thighs hit the bed and I was forced to bend over. Now I am all about an impromptu spanking, but I wasn't exactly in the right mood. For one, I WAS grumpy, I was also tired. I kind of felt like napping, not like getting my freak on.

But I am sure I am not the only person in the world who has a partner whose kinks don't exactly line up with mine. I feel like it took a long time for me to convince him that spanking me whenever was fine. He didn't have to ask. We didn't have to talk about it. He didn't have to wait for me to request it. So I wasn't about to undo all of this progress by complaining I was tired and putting a halt to everything.

So I went with it. And it hurt at first. A lot. He was only using his hand, but I wriggled around and said 'ow' a lot and wondered why I liked this to begin this. Do I like this? 

Then I took a few deep breaths and settled into it and stopped thinking so much. And he didn't stop. But a flip switched somewhere and instead of it hurting and instead of being tired, I was arching my back and opening my legs. He'd smack and then caress and reach down between my thighs. Now things were on the right track.

Next he picked up the Magic Wand. He turned it on and placed it under me so it was sandwiched between my clit and the bed. Then he got the flogger. Much lighter than his hand, but enough to reignite the sting that was already there.

It all got to be too much, I started arching off the bed so I could move away from the vibrations. But every time I did, Mr. McKay put a firm hand on my lower back and pushed me back down.

The flogger, the control, the vibrator. It was all too much. I was either going to die or come until my brain exploded. Well, my brain didn't exactly explode. But things got fuzzy.

He pulled me up onto the bed and kissed and caressed until I regained use of my limbs. Things progressed and we made an afternoon of it, until we finally had to come up for air because our growling stomachs could no longer be ignored.

As I staggered from the bed to again find my underwear and some clean clothes, Mr. McKay pulled me close and whispered, "That'll teach you."

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Flogging Fantastic! #sextoys

You know you are doing something right with your life when you get an email offering you a free sex toy.

The UK based company Bondage Bunnies emailed me to see if I would give an honest review in exchange for something from their site. Being an author, I know all about trying to get reviews, so of course I would help. It's work after all ;)

The nice woman who contacted me asked if I had a preference for what I would be receiving. I told her to surprise me, which immediately after hitting send on that email I started to have second thoughts. Who tells someone to surprise them when talking about sex toys? What if she sent me something completely out of my comfort zone?

The term "whip" had been thrown around and now I had images in my head of some harsh and scary single tailed whip that I wouldn't be able to tolerate. I told all of this to Mr. McKay and he just smiled at me. It was a disconcerting smile, I feared what that smile meant!

The thing is, we don't have a very extensive implement collection. Or I should say, we don't own many implements that we use. I have come to realize I might be a bit of a baby when it comes to spanking, or maybe it doesn't happen enough, but anything too harsh and I can't hack it. Most of the time it's just Mr. McKay's hand, and that is all I need (don't discount the harshness of that).

So when I got this in the mail I was equal parts excited and terrified:

It's silky smooth, soft leather tickles through your fingers, but I was worried about the impact. And it makes this whooshing noise when you swing it that is a little worrisome. I mean, I didn't think it was going to maim me, but I thought there was a distinct possibility I was going to hate every part of it.

I was pleasantly surprised! I came to find out that the flogger by itself on my back and ass was kind of relaxing. Without anything else going on, it made me want to close my eyes and drift off. (A warning: don't almost fall asleep during sexy times, it's frowned upon.)

After that, I got to feel what the flogger felt like on a freshly spanked ass. When your skin is already hot and stinging this definitely amps up the heat! Not to unbearable levels, but the ends of the tendrils leave a bit of a sting. 

My favorite part was that you can use this flogger on other areas. Lying on my back I got a little nervous when Mr. McKay aimed at my nipples, but again, I was surprised in a good way. The ends of the tendrils left enough of a bite to get me even more aroused, but it wasn't so much that I was flinching and turning away. 

I'm saving the best part for last. Let me tell, you have not lived until you've had your clit flogged. Again, I would not have sought this out or even thought I would have liked it. It seemed accidental to me at first. I was face up and Mr. McKay pushed my legs up and was getting the crease below my ass and the tops of my thighs and then all of a sudden it hit my clit. I let out a little shriek because I wasn't expecting it, but then I settled back in and parted my thighs a little more. He took the hint ;)

I was also informed it wasn't an accident to begin with. Always two steps ahead, that one.

In summation, I loved this flogger. Light enough to use on sensitive areas, but still leaving a sting when used after something more intense. I think it will become a regular character in our everyday arsenal. I just have to remember not to leave it in the living room—although it might pass as a cat toy ;)

You can find the House of Eros Light Flogger here! I'd recommend looking around the Bondage Bunnies site while you're there, they have lots to offer, I got lost in their lingerie section for a while.

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To Him, She's Perfect~ #MySexySaturday #MSS

Welcome back to My Sexy Saturday. This week's theme is One Sexy Girl. I took it a step further in my excerpt as my leading man, Martin, doesn't just think his girl is sexy. He thinks she's perfect.

I'm sharing from my latest release Bound. It's a BDSM romance about a couple in a long term relationship still trying to figure out how to work things out. In this part, Martin is flying with Melissa to a secret location, he's surprised her with a trip. They had a little bit of trouble with a photographer right before they boarded and now he's trying to occupy her mind in other ways.

If she wouldn’t talk and tell him what had happened with the photographer, then he would find a way to occupy her for their three hour flight. It was a battle they fought continuously. Melissa internalized things and wouldn’t open up to him, he’d spent a good part of their early relationship guessing. Trying to pick up on hints. She had accused him once of trying to fix her. He couldn’t make her understand that he didn’t see anything that needed fixing, she was perfect to him.

After letting her wait a few minutes, he rifled through his carry-on and slipped a pouch into his pants pocket. Making his way to the restrooms, he knocked lightly on the only one of the three that was occupied.

Melissa cracked the door open and raised her eyebrows at him. She tried to shuffle back a step, but her feet wouldn’t move and she ended up leaning back to let him enter. “We can’t fuck in here,” she whispered.

He looped an arm around her waist, holding her close as he shut and locked the door behind them. They barely fit in the small space together, but her talk of fucking had him hardening in his pants. “You don’t think we can renew our membership to the mile-high club?”

She snorted. “No, I do not.”

He delighted in making her laugh, even if it was a scoff. They had imbibed in too many in-flight beverages and then loudly banged in a bathroom during a trip in their twenties. Looking around, he wondered how they had managed. “Pull down your pants,” he instructed, releasing her from his hold and giving her an extra inch of room.

Melissa's longtime boyfriend, Martin, is taking her on the trip of a lifetime. It might be just what they need since she has felt a disconnect with him lately. But her overactive mind convinces her that he's planned the trip for the sole purpose of dumping her... until he brings up the subject of marriage again.

Martin doesn't know how else to convince Melissa that they are destined to be together forever. He's left his exclusive BDSM club in the hands of a capable friend and whisked her away to a private island. He can't figure out why she revels in physical bonds, but balks at the bonds of marriage. It's not a challenge the seasoned Dom in him is ready to back down from.

When secrets from Melissa's past threaten to come to light and her well-being and safety are put at risk, can Martin protect the woman his world revolves around? Or will he end up losing everything that matters to him?

Available now on:
Amazon
All Romance
Barnes & Noble

Have you read Masters of Fetishes from the beginning? See where it all began in Mastered for 99 cents!

Visit the rest of the My Sexy Saturday authors!

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Has Sex Sent You to the ER?

With as clumsy as we are it is actually a miracle that sex has never sent Mr. McKay or I to the ER. There were close calls. There were times when we probably should have gone for medical attention, but for a majority of the earlier part of our relationship we didn't even have health insurance. 

We've fallen out of showers, fallen in showers, and overflowed jacuzzi tubs. (Clearly we should not try to have sexy time near water.)

Last year, I tripped backwards over a laundry basket and cracked the back of my head open on the corner of the dresser. Blood, so much blood. 

There was panic. We thought for sure I was going to end up in the ER. And now I know what hurts more than busting your head open on the dresser. It's when the aroused feelings are totally gone—because you are in pain and bleeding from the head—and your husband pulls the ben wa balls out of you.

I kicked him. "Ow! Why'd you do that?"

"Do you want to explain this at the hospital?" he asks, holding up the hot pink balls. "Cause I don't."

The bleeding stopped and I didn't have any signs of a concussion, so we got out of that situation without having to involve medical professionals.

It also wasn't actual sex that almost sent me to the ER. If there was a show called "Almost Killed by Poor Housekeeping" or "Romantic Nights Ending in Mild Concussions" then Mr. McKay and I would be all over it!

But we've never had to visit the ER.

Have you? The television show Sex Sent Me to the ER is casting now. Here is a handy dandy flyer with all the contact info. 

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The Conversations We Have...

I always think Mr. McKay and I would make a pretty decent reality show. Well, at least, when we aren't just sitting on our respective laptops and not talking. We would be able to fill at least a half hour show once a week.

Instead, you'll have to live with some conversation snippets on my blog. Really, I share these to demonstrate that I am not always the weirdo in this relationship—sometimes I have no idea what this dude is thinking!

Me: Hey, did you hear the road work last night?
(I had gone to bed early the night before while he stayed downstairs working.)

Mr. McK: Is that what that noise was?

Me: Yes, it was loud, right?

Mr. McK: (thinks for a few seconds) I thought you were using your vibrator.

Me: (scrunching my nose in disbelief) For hours?

Mr. McK: (shrugging) I thought it went on for a long time, but who am I to judge?

I told him if he really thought that's what I was doing then he should have come to help me. He smirked at me. I have no idea what that means.

Later on in the day I was telling him the plot of my soon to be released book:

Me: So she sells herself in this auction at a BDSM club.

Mr. McK: And someone buys her for the weekend?

Me: Yeah.

Mr. McK: And she cleans his house?

Me: (furrowing my brow in confusion) No, but she goes home with him. Why would she clean his house?

Mr. McK: Look, if I'm laying out that kind of money for someone to come back to my house, she can at least dust.

Me: (shaking my head) You're a weirdo.

Mr. McK: You're selling people in auctions and I'm the weirdo?

Me: Yes.

Mr. McK: (walking away mumbling) Sex trafficker.

Then we made guacamole and watched a Lifetime TV movie. It is not a bad life.

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A to Z Challenge~ Lists

Just one last reminder that Taming HIs Queen is only free through tonight on Amazon US and Amazon UK. Download now before you forget!

Welcome back to the Spanking from A-Z blog challenge, hosted by Celeste Jones and Spanking Romance Reviews.

Today is just a little fun. L is for Lists! I am going to do my Top 5 of certain things...

Top 5 Favorite Movies:
These are probably listed in a frequency of which I watch them. They by no means are the best movies out there, but most of them are in my DVD collection and were go tos when we had no cable.

1. Zoolander- this is an odd choice because as a rule I don't really like Ben Stiller. But this movie can take a completely horrible day and make it a million times better. I dare you to watch and not be singing George Michael for days on end.

2. Pirate Radio- a stellar cast and a killer soundtrack. I'm also partial to movies that are based on true events.

3. Moonrise Kingdom- I'm actually a fan of all of Wes Anderson's movies, but this one is my favorite. It makes me feel like I am watching a book (it's a weird way to describe something, but that's what I think).

4. Crazy, Stupid, Love- I think I love this movie so hard because it surprised me. Good characters, good plot, and a shout out to one of my all time favs that didn't make my mini list—Dirty Dancing.

5. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist- I've watched this DVD countless times. It won't go down in history for cinematic greatness, but I love it all the same. It takes place during 24 hours and follows Nick and Norah around New York. It's funny and romance-y and a good movie to have on in the background while you fold laundry or dust.

Top 5 Snacks:
I'm a salty snacker by nature, so my choices fall heavily in that realm.

1. Potato Chips (This is not based on the frequency I eat them, but how much I want to eat them. All day everyday.)

2. Pepperidge Farm Goldfish- I can eat an entire bag over the course of a work day. Not something I'm proud of, but there it is.

3. Pretzels- sticks, twists, bites, soft pretzels, in a bag. You just name it and I will eat it.

4. Chocolate (more specifically Snickers or Kit Kats, or dark chocolate)

5. Guacamole- is that a snack? Sure why not? And, of course, the tortilla chips that go with it!

Top 5 Sex Toys
Because why not?

1. The Magic Wand- hands down my favorite. I can use it alone or with the husband, and really, it never fails. Ever. And how many things can you say that about?

2. A Cane- Okay, not technically a sex toy, but a spanking implement. In this house they are one and the same. I love love love it especially because I feel like it helps Mr. McKay spank me harder. Which is what I want (until I don't). And who doesn't like checking out those stripes afterward?

3. Butt plugs- I have silicone and glass and they are different in what I get out of them. Sadly I need to buy a new glass one because it got dropped on the floor and cracked (and that's not good).

4. Nipple Clamps- sometimes the girls need to get in on the action. This is not an all the time thing for me and a definite no at certain times of the month. But other times I just crave it!

5. Cuffs- I like having my hands cuffed together behind my back. It adds to the helpless powerless feeling. The cuffs we use are velcro and link together in the middle with a little clasp and I can get out of them without assistance—but I play along and pretend, it does add a little spice.

There you have it, some info you never needed to know about me (or probably even wanted to).

Check out some other A-Zers!



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Everyone Goes Home a Winner

Mr. McKay took me out for a fun night on Friday. We went to one of the bars we frequent and they were hosting a Sex Toy Bingo night. It was very cool, they had it all set up with long tables like a Bingo hall. It was just a fun and laid back vibe. The prizes for each round were different sex toys ranging from the ridiculous (inflatable sheep with penetrable orifices) to the practical (a rabbit vibrator).

We arrived after Bingo already started so we ended up settling towards the back in an out of the way spot. We were sipping on our drinks listening to the "fun facts" one of the hosts kept sharing throughout the game (Did you know white women who have college degrees are more likely to partake in anal sex than other women? Neither did I, but it explains a lot about me. Also I have no idea if any of these facts were true.) and they announce the prize for the next round: a strap on!

Mr. McKay nearly spits his drink, he looks at me and says, "Well, we don't need that."

Of course we don't need that, we wouldn't have needed an inflatable sheep either, but it's Bingo. It's a game! And I want to win! 

I really wasn't trying to win. I was half listening to the numbers being called out and half carrying on a conversation with the hubs when I look down and realize I need one more number to make Bingo. My palms get a little sweaty, I can almost taste the victory. And that is when I realize that I am a competitive asshole. It really does not matter what I'm playing, what the prize is, or even if there is a prize- I want to WIN!

I'm about to ask Mr. McKay if I should bother claiming the prize if I win- I mean maybe someone else had their heart set on that strap on- when the number I need is called. I freeze. I give Mr. McKay a wide eyed look and he immediately yells at me to scream Bingo and go claim my prize. And that is the moment I realized that he likes to win just as much as I do- which means he gets me, but also explains why playing Mario Baseball nearly ends up with us in divorce court because he always picks that stupid whore Princess Daisy who can hit home runs without even trying, but I digress.

I end up shooting from my chair and screaming BINGO! so loud that the entire bar turns and looks in my direction. The hosts wave me up towards the stage where they are holding my prize. Suddenly I feel like my face is engulfed in flames, did I really just get up in front of a room of people to gleefully accept my strap on?? They hand me my prize and sex fact lady tells me if I have a special man then I can participate in some "pegging" then she's all, "Do you know what that is?" Uh, yeah, I know what that is.

The walk back to my seat is a little surreal as I hold my prize proudly in front of me. Mr. McKay is doubled over in laughter, but is sure to tell everyone who ends up talking to us that this is in no way going anywhere near him. He even goes as far as to add that we are going to give it to our friend who is getting married for a gag gift. He's already giving my prize away!!

I emailed Aubrey Cara when I got home and mentioned my big win. I also told her how Mr. McKay was equal parts amused and horrified. She told me I should wave it at him while I shake a bottle of sleeping pills and tell him to "Sleep well".

Genius! I cracked up. Mr. McKay also thought it was funny, but gave me a leery look.

The next morning we get up and we're cleaning the house for the St. Patrick's Day party we are throwing, when I realize in my haste to get inside last night I left the strap on laying on the backseat of my car! Not sure how many of my neighbors saw that in our communal parking lot, but let me tell you this, walking around with a strap on at 1am is entirely different than it is at 11am when you're trying to dart into the house in broad daylight.

I get into the house without being seen (I think) and I tell Mr. McKay I'm going to take it upstairs so our party guests with young children don't have to have uncomfortable conversations. Then I linger at the bottom of the stairs and kind of wave it around and say, "I'm going to put it on your pillow." I raise my eyebrows suggestively. 

I turn to run before he can retaliate, but not before he yells out, "If I find sleeping pills by my pillow you're in trouble!"

That gives me pause. What kind of trouble I wonder? And I can't get the silly grin off my face for the rest of that day. Because, after all, I am a big winner!

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Things May Be Larger Than They Appear~ Sex Toy Shopping

I hope everyone had an excellent holiday season no matter what you celebrate. I feel like I got positively spoiled on Christmas morning by my awesome hubby! He got me a kindle fire which I have been secretly pining for for a few years now, but being ever practical (my old 1st generation kindle still works, I don't need a fancy new one!), I never asked for one.

To say he hit a home run is putting it mildly! In addition I am also the proud owner of some new toe stops for my Derby skates and a blu ray copy of The Secretary.

I also can't wait to break out the new vibrating butt plug he purchased. I knew about that gift because we were perusing them online one night. Does anyone else do this? Sometimes we will sit in the same room and look things up online and message them to each other. Links to lingerie, sex toys- stuff like that. I feel like it's cyber foreplay. 

Anyway, we were Christmas shopping online- for real, for gifts for the fam. Then we had a few drinks and started sending sex toy links to each other. I decided I would like a butt plug that vibrates, because, well, that sounds awesome! Now I am reading the sizes aloud and it gives all the dimensions in millimeters. What do I look like? A carpenter?

I think I may have googled "How many inches" is whatever millimeters it said, but then I was still just sitting on the couch with my laptop so I only had my imagination to guess of what about an inch was.

I decided to tell him to order me the medium size. I didn't want to be disappointed with the small, or scare the hell out of myself with the large (having my own Goldilocks moment over here).

I send him the link and he says, "You could do the large."

"I can?" My face flushing.

"I don't think you realize how big your other plug is."

Oh, okay. Well if he thinks so, then I will trust him. He always buys all the toys anyway.

Fast forward to Christmas morning. I tear the paper off my new toy and smile up at my husband. He is full on laughing, "I have to tell you what happened!"

Turns out he ordered the large one off of Amazon, they shipped it, he opened it and immediately wrote back to return it. I am giggling because he said he put in the return comments 'This is far too large'. Amazon told him to keep it and refunded his money (nice to know they won't take back sex toys). He ordered the next size down. And to be honest, I still think it looks sort of big, but we shall see.

I know how I'm ringing in my new year! Anyone else get fun toys for Christmas? Or have fun New Year's plans??

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Round Table Discussion- Spanking Relationships

Welcome to this edition of the Round Table Discussion, brought you by Spanking Romance Reviews. Today's topic was brought to us by Patricia Green:

Being of an Age and Spanking: a discussion about how one changes as a spanking partner over the years of a relationship 

From Patricia:

You’re 30 and spanking is a big part of your life. It shapes how you behave in many ways, and strikes a chord when you read about others living the same way. But how will you feel about it when you’re 50, or 60, or 70? You won’t be the same person at those ages, and your relationship will grow and mature as the years pass by.

Where do you see your spanking relationship as you get older? What do you anticipate? What do you dread? How do you feel about others who are older and still have spanking in their lives? Is that too weird a mental picture? Please think about it and share your take on spanking as we grow older.

Where do you see your spanking relationship as you get older? What do you anticipate? What do you dread?

I feel like my spanking relationship just started. We are in our early thirties, we've been married less than five years, it is all still very new to us. We don't practice Domestic Discipline, we are just into some good kinky fun. So where do I see us as we get older? I am hoping the novelty doesn't wear off.

Right now I will hint about wanting a spanking. I will flat out ask if he is not getting the hint. I think my husband is still amused by me. But he always mentions that the spanking is my thing, he gets nothing out of it. I do wonder sometimes if he will just stop wanting to participate in it. I have no reason to think this, just my own overactive mind.

Then there is the prospect of children. We are planning on having some at some point. That will definitely change the way we live our lives, never mind just the spanking and kinky part. We go through different phases of life and have to change the way we do things to adjust. That is just a normal part of living. But I am hopeful that we will still make time for each other and still want to do all the things that makes us so connected now.

I don't just mean the spanking and the sex toys and all the other things we do. I mean the communicating, the trust, meeting each other's needs. It started out as some foreplay and some kink and it evolved into the way we live our lives. I know we have grown closer, we listen to each other better, we respect each other more. I can feel it and I can see it. I guess in a way I am afraid we might lose that.

How do you feel about others who are older and still have spanking in their lives? Is that too weird a mental picture? Please think about it and share your take on spanking as we grow older.

I am a romantic and I love seeing people in love. So I notice couples and the way they interact- young, old, it doesn't matter. Do I ever look at an older couple and wonder if they spank or have some kinky life behind closed doors? Yes, all the time. And it makes me smile. I don't really get a mental picture, that seems like an invasion of privacy if they are standing right in front of me.

I think it actually makes more sense for an older couple to have a spanking relationship. I think if you have had more experience in life and love it would make a relationship like that run smoother.

At least that is what I think. But really, what do I know?

In the future I picture myself still living happily with my husband. Just living and loving and doing what feels right. I'm not naïve enough to think nothing will change, but I think I am optimistic enough to think it will always change for the better. 

Be sure to visit all the other Round Table Participants! Make some comments, join the fun :)

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Love and Nipple Clamps

I mentioned before that I love Valentine's Day, well really, I just love having a day dedicated to loving. How could you not like it?

Mr. McKay and I are sort of a no frills couple. We don't stress over getting each other gifts (well, we couldn't afford to for a while) and I really wasn't expecting anything at all for V-Day.

But he surprised me! He had told me he ordered me two gifts. Once I finally got out of him that they were of the 'sexy variety' I didn't feel so bad that I hadn't gotten him anything. I mean really, when he buys sex toys they are for us both, because we are both using them. That's how I look at it anyway.

One arrived in the mail on Friday and he unceremoniously tosses me a little package in a clear bag. It's heavy and at first glance it looks like chains. I dump the contents of the bag. Nipple clamps! I had requested different ones. Right now we have these tweezer-like ones (which are supposed to be good for beginners, or so says my resident researcher over here), and they are all well and good until I move the slightest bit or something brushes against the chain. Then they just pop off, leaving me screaming out and not in a good way.

But now I am staring down at these very heavy, serious looking nipple clamps and my hands get a little clammy.

What am I thinking? I feel like I ask this question on a regular basis.

I test one on a finger and it's a little intense. Like, ow, it kind of hurts clamped on my index finger! I glance over at my husband with an unsure look.

He assures me we don't have to use them. He wouldn't want anything clamped on his nipples after all, he doesn't understand why I would.

But he doesn't get it! Nipples are an erogenous zone. I love having mine touched and played with. Pulled and sucked. Tweaked and pinched. Nothing can get me hotter than driving along in the passenger seat and having him reach over and slip his hand into my top. Caress my breast. Pinch my nipple. Sigh, I am ready to come just thinking about it. (also the fact that we are in the car- windows! Daylight!)

I digress. Back to the nipple clamps. So these seem kind of intense and I am surprised because normally Mr. McKay researches the shit out of everything before making a purchase. He reads reviews, cross references sites, makes sure he is buying a quality product.

Later on that night, he suggests we try them.

Um, okay, sure. He did go through the trouble of buying them after all. I shouldn't just toss them aside and never use them. But I remember the way they felt on my finger.... I'm a little scared.

They are this clamp, with a screw. And I have the screws twisted all the way out. Because in my head I am thinking 'screws tighten' so to have the screw tighter, the clamps would be tighter, yes? And I don't want them tight to start with.

So, screw all the way unscrewed. I place the clamp around my nipple. Shriek, rip it off, throw it on the floor, and start writhing in pain.

I laugh until I cry. Assuring my very concerned husband that I am fine. But maybe I like the idea of nipple clamps better than the actual clamps? This disappoints me.

The next morning I am still talking about how ridiculous these clamps are. I mean who can use them anyway?

I look them up online to read the reviews. We must be doing something wrong! Mr. McKay says these things should come with instructions.

Then I find this picture on the website:

And I realize the screws are to keep the clamps open, not to tighten them. Duh. Morons using sex toys over here, everyone back up.

And this is how I ended up sitting in my pajamas in my living room on a Saturday morning holding my t-shirt up with my chin and putting nipple clamps on myself.

Sexy, right?

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Left to My Own Devices

This is my story about something that occurred this past weekend... and the shenanigans I get into when I am left alone:

I think I am suffering from the Winter Lazies. There is such a thing as Spring Fever and I am saying right now that I am pretty sure the Winter Lazies are real. I would much rather lay on the couch, under a blanket with a book or my laptop, instead of doing- well, pretty much anything.

This past weekend Mr. McKay went to a football game (it was a playoff game, it did not end well for our team- we are not speaking of it anymore). He left early to do the whole tailgating thing so I was left with an entire day of uninterrupted 'me time'. So many things I wanted to do. I was going to write, write so much! Then I was going to take down the Christmas decorations, put away our gifts that are still laying under the tree, and clean. 

I started off alright. I did write a bit. Then I decided to reward myself with a new book. Then I got under the new comfy throw on the couch, a few cats found me, and I read... for three and a half hours. I spent the better part of the afternoon laying on the couch doing nothing, and it was GLORIOUS! But the thing is, I was reading some spanking fiction. I had read 60% of the book I downloaded, and to say it worked me up a bit would be putting it mildly.

I didn't want to waste the rest of my day, so I decided there were some things I should take care of before I got on to my chores. I went upstairs. I found the new 'massager' I got for Christmas from my awesome husband. And I decided to really have some quality 'me time'.

Side note: we had used this thing twice since Christmas, neither time was I the one holding it, so I didn't realize how heavy it was.

I am laying on the bed, trying to find a comfortable position to hold this thing and put it where I want. It starts feeling great, so great, I am not moving it from whatever spot I hit. I add my other hand- I'm not even really thinking, I am just doing what feels right and--- holy crap, I think I peed!

I leap off the bed, there is definitely moisture, but no, not pee. Shit! I think I just squirted. 

My momentary elation is flooded with guilt. You do not understand the mission my husband has been on to try to make me squirt. I really don't understand the appeal. He has been trying to make it happen for so long now I was just sure it would never happen. In fact, one of his selling features of this 'massager' he gave me was that some online reviews said if you wanted to squirt this was the way to do it.

Well, they were right... but I don't think I was supposed to be alone.

And the kicker is, I don't even remember how the orgasm was because I was so distracted by the aftermath.

Then came my dilemma. I can't NOT tell him. First of all, I am a terrible liar. Secondly, we share everything. And thirdly, how was I going to explain how the skin got scraped off my knuckle of my thumb?

Oh yeah, did I forget that part? I guess when I was trying to find the right way to hold the thing, and get it at the right angle, I jammed my thumb into some moving part. But was so distracted by the- erm- vibrations, that I didn't realize I was peeling the skin off my thumb. 

He got home very late, and very grumpy. We didn't talk until the next day. I recounted all events. I showed him the injury to my thumb. I made sure to tell him how awesome his selection of Christmas gifts were. He did such great research! He is the best for always thinking of me! Oh and by the way I squirted.

What? Did I say something? Why? Do you think you heard me say something?

A few hours later I am laying face down over the bed. We've decided I should have the butt plug in for the rest of the night. We've also decided we are going to spank me until I really beg for it to please, stop already. (Only that never happens, so it went on for a while and it was so so so incredibly awesome/stingy/too much/just what I needed.) I also think if it were possible to die from having multiple orgasms- someone would be writing a really nice (hopefully) eulogy about me right now.

But alas, there was no squirting, so the mission continues. 

To end this story, I would like you to know I am writing this in the glow of my Christmas tree, which is still up, along with the stockings. The Winter Lazies are in the full effect-- someone should promise to spank me if I un-decorate.

Here is the site for the magic device. Click Here

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