Thursday, June 12, 2014

Identity Crisis- Coming Out as an Erotic Author

I am back with another post for the A-Z Blogging Challenge!

Today I am posting about I. I is for Identity Crisis.

Like many authors I have a pen name. Sometimes I feel like this pen name gets to voice the real me. I was worried when I first became Casey McKay that I had manufactured some character that I was trying to live up to, and in the beginning when I first started blogging and getting my feet wet, maybe I was.

That didn't last long though. Maybe a couple of weeks? I had a hard time not being real in my posts, it just happens. I am goofy, I say dumb things, I like to laugh, and I don't mind sharing the down and dirty details. It's much easier just to be real.

So if you are wondering if I would be the same in real life as I am on my blog, the answer is yes. 

The problem in the beginning was letting my real self post on my blog, being honest and true about my thoughts and opinions. My problem now is remembering not to let it all hang out in real life. I don't need to voice exactly what I am thinking 100% of the time, sometimes I just can't remember that.

I really only police myself on Mr. McKay's behalf. He is open minded enough to let me talk about our sex life on my blog, he just isn't entirely comfortable with our friends having access to my blog just yet, and I am fine with that. It's a give and take, I get to talk about all the spanking details as long as I keep it under a shroud of secrecy.

Recently while we were out getting a drink with a friend he was prompting me to tell her a funny thing that happened. But it also had something to do with anal sex, and us engaging in it, and I was surprised and a little confused that he was ready to share all of this with someone. I also misread the situation and thought he was giving me the go ahead to share everything-- my writer side, my pen name, my blog. 

Luckily, I just told the story involving the anal sex and kept mum about my writer life, but I told him later that's what I thought he was telling me.

His response was: "Really? No, I don't think you're ready to share that with our friends yet."

I informed him that I was ready and I was waiting on him to be okay with that fact that I am blogging about our sex life.

He was quiet, then he said: "Okay, I'll tell you when you're ready. You aren't ready yet."

That made me smile. He can't be completely uncomfortable with it because he just helped me publish my sixth book! That's right, sixth!

Welcome to the business portion of my post:

Loving Lena is available for purchase today! Grab yourself a copy now!

Second point of business. I am having a facebook author chat with two of my fellow authors from The Winter Storm- Katherine Deane and Renee Rose.

It's on Saturday June 14th at 9pm EST. You should come, there will be prizes! And no one is signed up to go so you will certainly win!

That concludes our business, go and read some other posts now, you know you want to!


  1. LOL, I like that. "I'll tell you when you're ready for it. You're not there yet."

    It was a whole lot easier for us, really. The only friends I have are those in the spanking community. My husband's coworkers all know what I do, although I don't think they've connected yet that I live the way I write or that my husband is just as kinky. Maybe it's a good thing we're moving before they do.

  2. I love that line too. It is so true. Some wonder what I do all day sitting at the computer and lately I have been saying answering 'writing stories' and so far no body has taken it further. We'll see.

  3. I love how real you are, Casey. :)
    And LOL, about Mr. McKay's comment.
    He really does have the dominant thing down pat, doesn't he?

  4. There's me the writer you know as Rollin, and the real me who is...Clark Kent. LoL. That, in a nutshell, is the problem. I can't tell anyone. That's really frustrating because I can never talk about what I write with anyone. In my profession and position, that knowledge would be just too weird for people to deal with. It's worse than that. Given my work situation, to release this info might be considered a subtle form of sexual harassment. It could cause some people to feel that the work environment had turned very uncomfortable. So for now, and probably until I retire, Clark's secret identity as Rollin, the author of lurid erotic spanking fiction, will remain a secret.

  5. It does get exhausting not telling anyone. I really wouldn't mind just telling everyone and letting them judge away.

    Rollin- Or should I say Clark Kent? The job thing is hard and you are probably right to keep it under wraps if it would put your job in jeopardy. I wish people could be more open minded.

  6. There is a freedom to having a pen name and blog. But no one knows--friends, family and most definitely not coworkers! Congrats on your book!!

  7. I totally understand the feeling of having an identify crises. I have so many I get confused - I'm Cassie at times, I'm PK on one blog that is just me and my husband and I'm PK Corey, author on another. I line hearing about the real you.

  8. I love your honesty, too. So glad you're your real self, because I sure like her!

  9. I always enjoy stories like this, Casey, even though I struggle to relate. I've been in various closets for short periods of time, but I'm just not good at staying in. I'd planned to publish under a pen name made of my middle name and my Master's last name, but then I finally took His last name as mine and I asked Him about just using my legal name. I can't imagine needing to use a pen name. I do agree with the others- I love Mr. McKay's line about "when you're ready"- quite nice :)

  10. Let's have a serious conversation Casey. I don't want to scare you out of your wits, but with all this sharing private information there is another risk you want to consider. The internet is full of creeps that think if a woman write about such things she is going to want it with the creeps too.

    Never reveal traceable information to your own identity, this is the age of information and people are so good in digital tracking and tracing. No need to be overcautious, be there is a need to be careful with the details of your private life you share.

    I just erased a stupid totally not relevant joke about backdoor burglary. Not saying you shouldn't share. Just sayin' please be careful?

  11. I'm in the closet too Casey, and I also reveal the 'real me' in my posts. It's like walking a tightrope and I think the risks of creeps trying to find you is legitimate. I have a few family members who know what I do and one friend, but that's it. I won't even accept them on my FB page and risk being outed. BTW, I like the real you and I don't care what your name is!

  12. Dude your party is at 3am my time so I love you, but I won't make it!!

    I love your husband. He totally knows you and I think it's awesome how he manages you.

  13. Jolynn's 87 year old Mom bought her book Sweet Agony to support her, and then called a different day to ask if she could have a vibrator since she knew we had some. That was super hilarious, and I think I had to go into the other room since her Mom was on the phone and I was laughing.

    My younger sister by a couple years,and my kids, who are 24 and 29, and relatives know for sure since I use my Facebook account. If they don't, then I don't know what to say about that. They are welcome to unfriend me, or whatever you do when you don't want to see posts about anal sex.

    As far as stalkers, our killer cat will eat them alive, and then our dog will lick them to death. The cat is on Prozac so everyone can peacefully exist, otherwise there would be death and pestilence.

  14. Thanks, Megan!

    You get it, PK :)

    Thanks, Renee and Joelle!

    Han- You are sweet :) I get what you are saying. I don't ever really share anything personal. Well, you know, besides all the sex stuff. I'm talking more about telling real life friends about my pen name, not the other way around.

    Thanks Stevie and Natasha!

    Kathy- You crack me up!