Monday, March 3, 2014

"Warm Me Up!" And Other Bossy Directions

I have mentioned before that while the whole Dominance and submission
thing turns me on and I like the idea of a 'dominating alpha male' in the bedroom, but that maybe I am not the most submissive type.

We've been figuring it out. Our spanky panky is constantly being tweaked and we talk about what works and what doesn't.

I have tried to make it clear to my husband that if he takes over and gets a little bossy in the bedroom it is a major turn on. 

I didn't just stop there. I also have talked in great length about what I want from a spanking. How to spank, what to spank with, and most importantly in my opinion- for how long.

He used to stop if I said "Ow" or showed any signs of discomfort, which really put a damper on the spanky fun. So I have assured him he doesn't need to stop, he should keep spanking right on through that.

(Yes, I am a bit of a bossypants- I am coming to terms with my un-submissiveness. But he appreciates the direction.)

Over the weekend we had some time to get a little kinky. He suggested I get changed. Never one to pass up the opportunity to break out the lingerie, I hustled upstairs and picked out a cute little number.

We live in the Northeast, and it has been a cold winter. I am also not a fan of the cold and feel like I can never get warm. So after I changed, I stood shivering, half naked, waiting for my husband to join me. 

He finally comes upstairs, after I have seriously debated donning my holey hooded sweatshirt over my lingerie. I push the coldness from my mind. 

He takes out the new riding crop we haven't tried out yet. I'm so excited, but the excitement gets eclipsed when he starts to just push me over, riding crop in his hand.

In my head I rationalize. This is what I have asked him to do, take more of a lead. Take charge. I will take myself out of the moment if I start topping from the bottom so to speak.

He snaps the crop across my very, very cold butt. It feels like stinging fire and I yell out. He is undeterred and lays down another line, I kick a foot up and yell "ow!". He does it again and now I throw a hand back and I am laughing and stomping and asking him to stop. "Just stop for a second, just wait, just wait."

In my head I am wondering why he isn't listening to me. And also, has he never heard of a warm up? You can't just start in full throttle on my bare, cold ass.

I realize he isn't listening to me because this is exactly what I have asked for. I have given directions not to stop, even when I ask, and now that I am asking and he isn't stopping, I am at a loss. 

He ends up catching my fingers in the next stroke. It doesn't hurt and I realize he isn't really swinging so hard, it is just the fact that I really am ice cold, so anything would hurt like hell.

I finally grab his arm. "Please, I'm freezing. Just use your hand."

He gives me a confused look, but then sits down and pulls me across his lap and gives me the most delicious hand spanking.

He makes me come twice as I am laying across him before he pushes me to my knees and I take him in my mouth. 

I admit afterwards that I am a little disappointed we didn't go back to the crop, but he says he sort of forgot about it, he got a little carried away.

Then I feel I need to apologize for getting all bossy and calling a stop to things and he replies "No, it was a good note. Warm up, got it. Filing that away."

It is an ever evolving trial and error process. The push- pull and back and forth we have going. Maybe I need to remember to not be so bossy and just go with the flow, or maybe I just need to turn up the heat in the house.


  1. LOL, not being a fan of the cold either - I totally get that.
    Fun post as always :D

  2. I love your RL posts. Since I'm still single, and my DD is pretty much all fantasy right now, I really appreciate the reality check that RL doesn't work like our books.

  3. That is awesome! No, the partners we have dragged into this do not know what the heck a warm up is! Mine doesn't - still not I think! How hilarious! I love you guys. Dude, use the crop on the front! It's SUPER HOT!

  4. Great post, Casey. I know that feeling of being too cold! I also totally understand the point where you've told someone want you want and they actually do it for the first time. Exciting for sure, but it can be quite disconcerting too. Sounds like you have a lot of fun figuring everything out :)

  5. I totally get it, Casey!
    LOL, I love these posts!
    They are so real!
    We have some of the same "issues" in our house.

    I wish I could get my dh to take a spanking class or watch some videos or something.
    But, alas, that would be admitting that he does not know what he is doing, or some other male ego thing. :)
    Have fun with the crop!!