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Recently I was recounting a story to my friend Natasha Knight that I had almost forgotten had even happened.
Shortly after I moved in with Mr. McKay, we were in the throes of wedding shenanigans and merging our lives together into our townhouse. We each brought a collection of useless crap, and I brought along a few cats, and even though we have known each other forever (and ever and ever) there were still new things we were learning.
Like, we cannot agree on the same flavor of jelly for PB&J sandwiches. I mean, stupid, little thing, right? But at the time it just threw me.
I have always had grape. Welch's grape jelly to be exact. I need more peanut butter than jelly, and it needs to be grape, and it needs to be on white bread, and I like a diagonal cut so I have two triangles.
I make us some sandwiches for lunch on one of these early days of cohabitation and he looks at me like I have just served him cat poop on bread. Lip curled in disgust, he exclaims he can only have strawberry. Who even eats grape, gross, this is just gross!
I was crushed. How are we supposed to share our entire lives together and we cannot even agree on a jelly flavor? I had flashes of trying to choke down strawberry jelly for the rest of my life.
Clearly this is a sign that we really are not meant to be together. How can we ever make this work? What kind of heathen doesn't like grape jelly?
I tearfully tell him all of this and he looks back at me like I have twelve heads.
"Why can't we just have both?" he says
Um, because that thought never dawned on me. Because I was being a crazy, irrational person for a minute. Probably so in the gear of making wedding decisions where there is only one choice for every minute detail, I wasn't even thinking we could keep two jars of jelly in the house.
I would like to think I am not the only one who was like this. Throughout our engagement and probably well into the first year of marriage I thought every minor disagreement and every argument meant we were doomed.
We have been through a lot worse than disagreeing on jelly flavors and we came through it unscathed, so I have more faith in us now than I did then.
But I tried to channel those uncertain emotions when I was writing for Emmaline in Emmaline's Groom. She's young and she's scared. She is a little irrational, a little immature, and so crazy in love she doesn't know what end is up. And even though this is set in the Victorian Era, I think a lot of us can relate to that.
Here is a little part from one of Emma and Leo's first fights as a married couple, obviously this disagreement means they are doomed, at least that's what she thinks: