Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Spankable Offenses

If we did do this for real...

We were playing bar trivia last night and during the music round my husband starts mocking a song that came on as I was trying to figure out the title. I turned to him and yelled “Shut up!”
He shut up, immediately, and left me to my serious business of coming up with the correct title to the Mumford and Sons song that was playing.
After the round I apologized for telling him to shut up. He said he didn't care- we are both ultra competitive and our trivia nights are deadly serious, so he gets that I am in the zone.

It lead me to think though about spanking, and domestic discipline, as I'm wont to do. We don't practice domestic discipline, but would this have been a spankable offense if we did?

I am left to wonder about this a lot. I approached my husband about the idea of domestic discipline a while back, his response was “You would punch me in the face.”

I thought he was crazy with that comment, until The Remote Throwing Incident. About a month ago we got into a heated exchange in the kitchen. I stalked off to the living room and began furiously flipping through channels. My husband came in, oblivious I was still pissed, and started chatting with me. I tossed the remote in his general direction and got up to go back in the kitchen. Only I have bad aim, and when I say I 'tossed' it- it may have had a bit more power behind it. Needless to say my husband got into his own little snit when the remote lightly grazed his man parts.

The illustrious Katherine Deane suggested that maybe he should have spanked me when I later told her of the exchange. I'm not saying I didn't think about it after the fact. But seriously, if he decided right then and there that he was going to spank me for tossing a remote in his general direction, I may not have punched him in the face, but it would have gotten ugly.

I am wondering though if this is because we don't have this agreed upon dynamic. We aren't practicing domestic discipline, so yeah, it would have been weird for my husband to spank me with any other intent than to get me off. But what if we were practicing DD and we had agreed upon things beforehand. I am wondering what my reaction would have been then.

Leads me to, what would be a spankable offense in my house.

Cursing? Nope, I curse like a sailor and luckily so does my husband and it doesn't bother him that I do.

Rolling my eyes? Really? I am rolling my eyes at the screen right now.

After much thought, I think it would have to be things I decided on, otherwise I would just feel like he was being a jerk.

Possibly being late- really the only thing I am late for is work, and I would rather get spanked than go to work... actually I would rather get spanked than a lot of things.

Maybe overdrafting my bank account? Adult things I have not yet mastered...

Paying my bills late, that I tend to pay late every single month even though I know the due date is upon me and set a reminder in my phone- yet still manage to not get the stupid payment in on time.

Really I guess things I repeatedly do that even annoy the shit out of me, yet I can't seem to stop.

I don't see this happening anytime soon. But it is something to fantasize and write about.


  1. cussing,
    staying out too late
    getting drunk
    cutting school,
    being disrespectful to elders
    peeing panties
    cheating be it on tests or partner lying

  2. My hubs and I don't practice DD, but if I had thrown the remote and nailed him with it he probably would have spanked me. Of course, I would have been pissed at him afterwards and he probably would have felt like a heel.I guess throwing things would be considered a spankable offense. As for cursing I doubt I can be cured of that no matter how many spankings I got:)

  3. I love the idea of you coming up with the spankable offenses. Not sure what I'd pick for mine...being snappish? I hate when I'm snappish with my family...

  4. Great post, Casey. I've often wondered this too -- what would get me spanked as punishment if I had a DD relationship. Glad I won't find out!

  5. Gosh I love this post! I remember having the same thoughts you do before we decided to give DD a go. I would have thought the same thing about getting upset. That is why you wait until you are both thinking rationally to address it. Otherwise WW3 could easily break out. My list would be:

    Yelling / losing it
    Cursing at him (as opposed to cursing in general)
    Throwing things would definitely be on the list
    Sticking to a cleaning schedule (so bad at letting things go)
    Filling my meds/supplements on time
    Having a dinner plan

  6. This was a great post, Casey! Very good thoughts. :)

    (LOL, thanks for the shout out, I still think that was a spankable offense! :) )

    For me (My husband and I practice DD):

    It almost always comes down to respect. He has reminded me on several occasions that I am not quite as respectful with him as he is with me; and that it's needed on both sides.

    Last week, he came out, unhappy, bc I had carelessly tossed his garment bag into the closet.

    Before letting it slide he asked me what I was THINKING when I tossed the bag.

    "Um, This stupid bag is in my way!"
    I told him, truthfully, half grinned while trying to look somewhat sorry.

    LOL, that followed with a nice bottom warming in the closest.

    So, respect and matters that come from the heart are definitely spankable offenses in our household.

    Good luck with your list!

  7. Thanks for all the comments!
    Corinne- I guess there is a big difference between cursing in general and cursing at my husband. I still wouldn't make it a spankable offense though, LOL.

    Katherine- Don't call me out on my crazy. I remain steadfast that I tossed the remote with vigor! Bad aim- blah blah.
    You made me smile about the garment bag "Stupid bag is in my way."

  8. LOL, Casey. :)

    I thought you tossed it with vigor, and the trajectory took it right at his, um, manhood.

    Anything that goes toward the family jewels in a non sexual manner, should automatically go into the "spankable offense" category.

    hehe :)

  9. Great post. I love the comment about punching your hubby in the face if he were to try it...I so totally get that which is probably why we're not DD either! It would be spankspankspank, punch spank spank punch in a never-ending cycle!

  10. I always have to giggle when I read your posts which by the way I'm always late as I get email notifications like a day after post! It's weird.

    Spankable offenses - I'm with you that for me it would have to be things that even annoy me - like I'm so disorganized I can't get dinner together without having to run to the store three times. Also, my house is a wreck. Otherwise, I'm perfect ;) Seriously, I think it would have to be things that actually help a person turn a bad habit around, you know?

    Also, if he ever tried to spank me if I was mad, he'd get punched. Just visualized that.

  11. Way to go with the positive visualization, Natasha! LOL

  12. I am not in a DD relationship either and since me and my hubby have been married so long that we rarely argue about anything, I asked him. After all, he would be the decider of this spankable offense, wouldn't he?

    He said other than giving me the big "O"... It would be something stupid and reckless that puts me in danger such as buzzed driving, leaving on the oven, iron or curling iron (I have alarms auto shut off for these items so I'm safe there) or driving with the check engine light on, bald tires or screaming brakes. All of which, he said, are dangerous and could result in me being taken away from him.

    Awww! How sweet is that? The cursing, poor housekeeping skills and late bill paying he obviously gave up on long ago.

  13. Tara- In my defense he always says I would punch him in the face... I never have so I don't know where he gets this from. But I think it would definitely piss me off enough if he spanked me with no warning!

    Natasha- We all knew you were perfect ;) Glad I make you giggle, it's normally my intent. I KWYM about the email notifications, annoying!

    Maddie- I actually think spankable offenses should be decided on by both of you, if not just you. That's what I was saying- if my husband just decided I would not be okay with it. But if I were the one to say, hey- I need help with this... Then it would work a lot better.

  14. Thought-provoking (and funny) post, Casey! So interesting to think about relationship dynamics and how different modes of kink might work (or not work) within them. Interesting chicken-and-egg question you pose, too, re your imagined reaction to spankings being (to some degree) conditional upon the presence or absence of DD.

    I'm another non-DD person, and TBH I don't think I have the right personality type for it. Another puncher...

    As for spankable offences, like Natasha I think you have it right. Of course you may feel differently when the reality of it is upon you, but as you say it's something to fantasise and write about. :)

    Oh, and trivia rocks! :D

  15. Thanks Penelope! I always think it's funny that the posts I just decide to write because it is stuff I am always thinking get the most comments. I guess others have the same thoughts!

    I always welcome a fellow puncher to comment along ;)

  16. Casey,
    I agree that it would only be right to spank you - or anyone - for offenses you agree to. In DD or any relationship I do not believe that one person is morally superior than the other. One may have assumed a leadership position, display better judgement etc. but they should not "impose" what is a spankable offense. that is being a jerk - or more accurately a bully.
    If a person asks for help modifying a behavior or if a person agrees to accept a punishment for some future misbehavior that is fine. If it drives your husband nut that you roll your eyes and he gets angry and resentful, if you agreed to accept a spanking that would be one thing - if he dragged you across his lap that would be another.
    I helped a GF quit smoking - with the application of my belt to her bottom - because she wanted to quit smoking. I toolk a leap and proposed CP at that point a long held fantasy) and she accepted. It worked only because of mutual consent.

  17. Thanks for the comment Jim! That was along my line of thinking as well. I cannot possibly see how DD would work without mutual consent on rules.
    I'm sure there are quite a few things about me that drives my husband nuts, but I'm not that concerned about changing them right now ;)