Thursday, January 7, 2016

Technology- A Kinksters Enemy

Let's face it, we live in a technology based society. I can easily say this as I write this on my laptop while I have seven different tabs open, I just checked my bank account balance online, looked up the new schedule for work, and got caught up on my old college roommate's holiday happenings (I haven't had a real conversation with her in close to ten years).

So yeah, I would say I'm pretty "plugged in". But then, I don't own a smartphone. I know, right? My parents have more sophisticated cell phones than I do. But neither me nor Mr. McKay have smartphones. It started as a money thing, we just plain could not afford them, or afford the data on our plan.

Now it isn't so much that. Perhaps laziness. We missed the original onset of them and now I feel like I am so behind I would need to enroll in a class. Plus, do I really need that? Do I really want that? It is kind of nice not being able to check my email when I run to the grocery store, is anything that important anyway?

It's not like I am living in a the dark ages, but sometimes it feels like everyone else in the world is a little more technologically advanced than we are.

And I am not sure they are convincing me that it's a good thing to be so connected.

We were cat sitting for friends of ours over Christmas weekend. We realized they had one of those new Amazon Echo speaker thing-a-ma-jigs (see how tech saavy I am?).

It's voice activated and you can ask it questions and it will also play music. So Mr. McKay and I were messing with it and asking it to play random songs. Then we stopped playing with it, but stayed in the living room and joked about having sex on the couch (which we have done while house sitting before but didn't this time). Then Mr. McKay almost knocked over a table with a ceramic nativity scene. Eventually, we tended to the cat's needs, locked up, and went home.

A week later we saw our friends at another friend's house. They mentioned that they were getting weird suggestions for songs to play and realized it was because we had listened to music on their Echo. How did they know about that?

Oh, it records you!

Panic spiked through my veins and I tried to remember what exactly we were talking about. My friend proceeds to take out her phone (that at this point I am fairly certain launches rockets) and says, "Let me see if I can find it."

Mr. McKay and I eye each other across the room, but what do you say without incriminating yourself. She plays the sound bite and you can clearly hear my husband requesting "Rock Lobster" by the B-52s. We sit and wait, but that was the extent of the recording. My palms remained sweaty until the end of our visit anyway.

We laughed on the way home, wondering what would have happened if they heard our entire conversation. I think they would probably still have us watch their cats, we're the right price (free) and they vacation a lot.

A few days later we were having dinner with Mr. McKay's parents. They just built in warmer climates and they are very excited to share all the new happenings with it. They plan to retire there in a few years and live in that house full time, but right now they go for long weekends and holidays. My father in law very graciously offered us the house any time we want it and we were thinking of taking him up on it—until he pulled out his iPad and showed us live video footage of their house.

Apparently they had security cameras installed? He can watch the feed live from his iPad. Again, Mr. McKay and I exchanged uncomfortable glances and I wondered how weird it would be to ask if the cameras were on all the time, and in what rooms exactly?

I kind of don't want to vacation there now. Not even for any kinky reasons (okay, maybe mostly for kinky reasons), but my mother in law does not need to know how messy we are. She'd have a heart attack if she saw our housekeeping ways. 

But really, even if I were assured the cameras were off, how does one get down and dirty comfortably? I'd be worried they would come back on or something. I would not be relaxed at all! 

It makes you long for the days when the biggest invasion of privacy was your brother picking up the extension when you were trying to have a phone conversation.

At this rate we'll only be able to get kinky in our bedroom, and where is the fun in that?



  1. I love my smartphone, I had one long before iPhones appeared and took over the market.
    CCTV in the home - you would have thought your in-laws would know that you get up to something, not the kink of course, but the idea you just sit around and do what? It would freak me out too!

    1. I wanted to ask if they were only on when the security system was set. But again, I didn't know how to ask without sounding conspicuous. It's a little unnerving!

  2. Well this is how savvy I am. I once asked my son(aged 24ish) If he thought i needed a smart phone and he fell about laughing. You have already got one mum he said, not that it is any use to you at all as you have no idea what to do with it!
    I reckon your parents in law are bonkers, they have no right to judge your kink! Who films everything in their own home!! Security my eye! They are as kinky as the rest of us. lol
    Go and shock them I say, :)
    As to the cat people, I would have died of fright, when I cat sit for our son and dil I am going to be very careful, I haven't a clue what half the gadgets in their house do and am going to avoid them like the plague
    love Jan,xx

  3. I got a really big kick out of this post. I totally think the cat sitting friends recorded far more than what they showed you! That's really freaky!!

  4. For the longest time I resisted getting a smart phone, but then I realized that technology wasn't going to stop or slow down, it was only going to speed up. And the longer I delayed, the farther behind I would be. I'll never be cutting-edge with respect to technology, but I don't want to become Amish, either. So I have an honest-to-goodness smart phone and have started using apps!

    It's reassuring to hear that other people struggle with technology too.