Friday, October 4, 2013

Role Playing- A Round Table Post

Thanks for coming by to read my Round Table post this week, if you haven't already, go on over to Spanking Romance Reviews for the main post when you are done here!

Before you get into reading this, I need to admit, I most likely have no idea what I am talking about. The idea of role playing intrigues me. But have I ever formally role played before? No. I have brought it up to my husband a few times, but he doesn't really seem convinced that he would like it.

Here are my reasons of why I would like to give it a try.

As a spanko who has a partner who isn't really into the whole spanking thing- I feel like this might make things a bit easier for us to get into it. I mean, think about it. If my husband can't really get his mind around the whole idea of spanking his wife, wouldn't it be easier to have a reason. Like say, the french maid he hired is totally slacking off, obviously he would have to spank her to keep her in line... see where I'm going with this?

Unfortunately Mr. McKay didn't really get it. He says he would laugh if I tried to 'give him lines'. Although, he thinks it would be hot if I wore a french maid outfit.

Which leads me to my second reason of why I would like to give role playing a try- Dressing Up!!! I think I have admitted before to having a lingerie fetish. I adore it, I adore shopping for it, I adore wearing it, I adore my husband's reaction when he sees me in it.

I am realizing now that I also think I have a french maid fixation. I guess this makes sense. I am into spanking, a dominant male turns me on, and I like the smell of Windex. Okay that last one is irrelevant, but a maid is a servant position, which means there would probably be some dominant person giving her orders. In my fantasies it's a hot alpha male, the maid is always incorrigible, and he never lets her get away with anything. I'm practically foaming at the mouth over here.

I don't think role playing is all about costumes and acting though. In a way, I feel like we might already be role playing without having really agreed upon it. We like to break out the kink when we really have the time. Nipple clamps, bondage, butt plugs, blind folds- all that fun stuff, and we are at a place right now where my husband will slip into a more dominant role in using all of those things. It didn't start out that way and the first time we use anything it is always a little less sexy “How is this working?” “Is it okay?” “Too much?” “Not enough?”

In the beginning these questions were every time, sort of taking us both out of the moment. It's not really all that fun if we are just talking the whole time. Yes, I think communication is key, but there is a time when you can ask and answer all these questions for each other, and I think that time should be before and after anything is actually going on.

So maybe it's not as much role playing as it is “being in the moment”. More of forgetting who we are for a few hours. We're not stressing over our day to day life. It's a few hours when we can just forget. We are just us, getting kinky, connecting on another level, and trusting each other.

I still really want a french maid outfit though. Or a beer wench, or a cute schoolgirl skirt... I am so glad the Halloween season is upon us! I think I'll do some shopping.

I'm also off to read everyone else's input on Role Playing (they probably actually know what they're talking about). Click the links to visit them all and join the discussion!


  1. I would be totally down with the french maid outfit. We've already role played the window washing scene...

    You're so right that you already ARE role playing, and I'm sure as time goes on it will come more naturally and easily. I have no doubt that you, a maid's outfit and some windex are in your future...

  2. One of my fantasies is to spank a friend in a french maid costume.

    I hope you explore that fantasy soon.


  3. Love the post. I totally get the fantasy but also the reality of hubby feeling silly with made up lines.
    I don't know about in the US but there are many short sexy halloween outfits on sale here every year...You've just made me think maybe I should invest in a naughty nun one!

  4. With or without "lines," just dressing up is a role play itself.

    Your comment about the communication when you began to play with toys made an important point. At first it wasn't exciting because you were talking about it, working out the boundaries, determining likes and dislikes. It took you out of the moment. But when got that worked out, it because exciting. I think your experience is a common one. To some degree, sex takes practice.

    Role play can be the same. It might feel silly at first, but once you become more comfortable with it, it would feel more natural.

  5. aww, lingerie- I don't quite get into it because my Master doesn't like lace, bows, anything that's standard in lingerie. Nope, I get to buy "lingerie" as if we were AP, but we're not lol. hehe I love you gently trying to guide Mr McKay into role play- he may very well have too overblown, too stereotypical idea of what it is. I bet if you went to a site like adamandeve, you could find a gentle, couple-focused intro to roleplay dvd that you could enjoy together.

  6. "I like the smell of Windex." I LOVED this post, Casey. You have a great GREAT sense of humor. Yes you do. My kinda people. :)

  7. You are so right! It is all about being in the moment and connecting on another level with your significant other. Just letting real life go for awhile is such a relief. I am totally with you on the lingerie fetish! Oh yes! I would love to dress up vintage looking fancy lingerie. I could be the naughty victorian wife or whatever era it happens to be! I agree with Sheri, I LOVE your sense of humor!

  8. You like the smell of windex? Not me… I think we all have a thing for the French Maid outfit by the way. I can't imagine scripting something. My husband (and I) would just giggle.

    I think you guys are doing something right though. Every time I think of a Target now, i remember you...

  9. Thanks Casey! This was a fun post. I like the idea of the role play taking you out of your every day life. I think I have a partial story somewhere that I never finished that has a French Maid outfit in it...I'll have to go digging in my hardrive.

    oo la la

  10. Joey- It's a good fantasy, right?

    Tara- Um, yeah, Halloween pretty much looks like prostitutes with cat ears on, LOL. Actually a friend of mine in college used to buy her costumes at the porn shop because they were better made (and usually covered more) than regular Halloween costumes.

    Cara- Yes, communication is key in anything.

    Renee- I'm pretty sure I'll be rocking a french maid outfit pretty soon, and I think Mr. McKay is getting an unfriendly push into role playing- I usually get my way!

    Joelle- I'm pretty sure the lingerie is more for me than him, its just a bonus he enjoys it.

    Sheri and Natasha- Yes! I love the smell of windex, I also love the smell of vinegar, I'm weird. And Natasha, did I ruin Target for you? LOL

    Corinne- Dude, I am so sending you links later of some hot new stuff I bought.

    Celeste- Write the french maid story! You can name her Casey :) You don't have to, but I want to read it!

  11. You (most likely) don't know what you're talking about? You could've fooled me! :-)

  12. Aww, thanks Erica. I generally feel like I don't know what I'm talking about. I'll direct people to your blog for the main course, I'm like the after dinner mint :)

  13. I would love a French Maid outfit too!
    But I wouldn't carry a duster, they make me sneeze!

    I loved your post, and totally agree about the communication, Casey!
    You guys are doing a great job with your role playing already!

  14. Hi Casey! I just discovered your blog through your comment on CWS. I've added you to my list at Bright Bottom. Your blog looks like a lot of fun!

  15. Katherine- I know now I am not alone in the french maid thing! I wouldn't actually be cleaning in my costume... so I wouldn't need a duster either, LOL.

    Spanky- Thanks for the add! It's nice to make new friends :)

  16. I'm going to hold you to that, Casey!I most definitely want to see!

  17. Great post, Casey - you so know what you're talking about!

    Roleplay imho is no different to other aspects of kink in that there isn't one 'right' way to do it. Do what feels natural (as it were)...

    And you are quite right in thinking that you already roleplay, and that doing so doesn't have to be a "formal" thing, separate from the other ways in which you and your partner connect. I loved the way you wrote about that.