Friday, October 18, 2013

Spank Me, Please? A Round Table Post

Katherine Deane wants to know “Who brought spanking into the relationship?”

Visit the main post at Spanking Romance Reviews.

If you've read my blog at all, you already know I am the resident spanko around these parts and my loving husband is sweet enough to oblige me. So to answer the question, I was the one who brought spanking into the relationship. How it happened though is a bit more interesting.

Mr. McKay just reminded me of something that occurred earlier on in our relationship.

We had just gotten back together and we were both in our early twenties. We both still lived with our parents and siblings and we had a window of opportunity. There was lots of clawing and grabbing (I do miss the frenzied roughness of unscheduled love making!). At some point I end up on top and he (accidentally, or so he says) smacked my ass. I completely froze. I was staring down at him in wide eyed shock. I obviously knew I was a spanko, I dreamt of him spanking me, but never in a million years did I think this would ever happen. We both sort of ignored it after the fleeting moment of shock (he admits he was afraid I was going to slap him).

Much later on, I finally mustered up enough courage to bring it up. I mention that he had smacked me and I added, “I sort of liked it.” He immediately says it was an accident and starts apologizing and promises he'll never do it again. “Oh, right, right, I was just kidding anyway,” is my reply. Ugh.

And so began our dance of me halfway admitting to my spanking kink- testing the waters I guess. And then immediately pulling it back or laughing it off. “I'm sure SOME people are into that sort of thing, but not me.” Laughs nervously.

In seeing there is a whole tab of spanking porn on the website we are perusing.
“Oh wow, look at this category. Spanking? Is that a thing people like?”
He shrugs in response, having long ago lost interest in the laptop screen as he is now trying to remove my pants.
I continue clicking- wanting so bad to watch a video.
“Well, I guess enough people are into it, as it has an entire tab dedicated to it.”
Still no response.
“Not me though. That would just be WEIRD, right?”

This all built up into the fateful night when I finally got drunk enough to voice my need. Thank God I didn't live during Prohibition (although, let's face it, we probably would have ran a Speakeasy), or some time when it would have been frowned upon for me to get drunk and kinky.

But now that my husband has brought up that he remembers this first encounter when he accidentally smacked my ass during sex, it makes me think he knew the whole time. Which sort of annoys me. He was just letting me sweat it out- it would have been so much easier if he just told me he knew.

Then again, that would have been asking him to embrace my kink before I was even embracing it. I am not sure what my reaction would have been if he just told me he wanted to spank me. Fantasy me is thinking this would have been the hottest thing ever. Real me probably would have told him to go to hell. You can't force someone out of their kink closet before they are good and ready, because they will just deny it all and call you the pervert.

Thanks so much for dropping by- be sure to visit all the other Round Table Posts this week. Leave a comment too, we love to discuss!!


  1. I love you. Do you really think he knew all along? I totally get the freezing up. Once, I ended up over his knee during sex (he was…wait never mind. not necessary) so there I was over his knee and I got so turned on just being in that position that I think I could have stayed there for hours! He was oblivious. Now I sometimes ask if he wouldn't mind if I laid across his lap while I read…he obliges. Poor guy…

    On a serious note though - you are right. Cannot force someone out until they're good and ready but once that happens, watch out world! We're telling everyone!!!

  2. That closet door stays firmly closed until you need a sweater. In this case, you got your warm fuzzies eventually, and that's what counts.

  3. Kink like sex is a coming out process. Think about it...don't most people "make out" before they engage in intercourse for the first time?

    Why should spanking be any different? First fantasy, then a playful swat or two, a discussion, then...

  4. I loved your post, Casey!
    The kink closet- brilliant!
    That was so intuitive of both of you not to force it on each other!

    I am embarrassed to say, I kind of pushed my husband A LOT. He wasn't ready at first, and it created a bit of resentment for both of us.

    I'm so glad you guys finally came to terms when you were ready!!

  5. Very cool how you talk about "kink closet" and giving yourselves space. Yes, very smart. How lovely that you noticed the spanking tab on the porn site :D

  6. I can so see you running that speakeasy in a short skirt leaning over the counter tempting your poor hubby.
    That's an amazing story Casey. It's weird how you almost made it years ago but just weren't ready

  7. Loved your post, Casey. Glad you found your way out of the "kink closet" and it sounds like you have a great guy who's very in tune with you. :)

  8. You are just too lovely, Casey! Such a sweet post. You convey the awkwardness, the nerve-tingling shyness of wanting something (but not being ready to ask for it) so perfectly.

    I'm glad things worked out in the end!

    I also think you have licence to brat that big meanie til at least next Easter ;D