In another attempt to do something fun and exciting (we're still not used to having money left over after paying the bills), my husband took me to see a Burlesque show this weekend. A bar in our area has Burlesque night once a month and we've actually been wanting to check it out for a few years now, Saturday night we finally got to go.
I had to work on Saturday, so I was trying to mentally go through my closet while I was at work because I knew I had a minimal amount of time to get ready. Also, what the heck does one wear to a Burlesque show? I haven't the slightest clue. Plus I am in serious need of some new wardrobe staples, my day to day attire consists of jeans, a t-shirt, sneakers, and a hoodie. I swear at some point in my life I used to be fashionable, back when I didn't have any bills and I spent my weekends at the mall. The only thing I am sure of by the time I get home from work is that I am wearing jeans (dark wash skinny jeans, I can totally dress them up!) and some flats, because my feet are killing me after standing all day. Now I'm just hoping I can find something cute and stylish hiding in my closet.
My husband has dinner ready when I get home (because we still can't afford dinner AND a show, we can only do one or the other, let's not get crazy), so we eat, I do my hair and makeup, and then with ten minutes to go I attempt to sift through my closet. I emerge from the bedroom in a white baby doll style tank with black polka dots and a black sweater shrug.
I ask my husband how I look and his response is “Your boobs look good.” Well, I guess I have that going for me. Then he follows up with, “I've never seen you wear that shirt.” So I run back through my memory trying to remember when I bought this particular shirt, and shit, it was like seven years ago. Now I am questioning whether or not this shirt is still stylish, “Are polka dots still in?” I ask. I get a quizzical look in return, “Were they ever in?” Good question, I don't know, I went through a huge polka dot phase and I am still very partial to them (in fact I had a black and white polka dot bra on under my polka dot shirt- weird but true). I also don't know if shrugs are still in- I mean it's half a sweater, why didn't I just spend my money on a full sweater? Well, whatevs, no time to change, maybe I'll just look ironic, like I meant to look like I bought my clothes almost a decade ago.
Now that I am having outfit anxiety, we finally leave to go to the show. We get to the bar about an hour before the show, we get some beers, and I settle in to scope out the crowd. I am pleasantly surprised to see other polka dot wearers, apparently they're still in (or back in?), and I feel reassured in my outfit decision. I let my husband know I think I made the right outfit choice (I'm sure he was relieved, he just didn't want to show it).
The show starts and we snag a little table towards the back. There's two emcees that open the show, there's a live band on stage with them, and then the girls come out in these sparkly little outfits. The guys are singing, the girls are dancing, the band is really good, and I can't believe I almost forgot how much I love a live show (four years of living under a rock will do that to you). I am enthralled from the very beginning, the theater geek that lives inside me is awakened! My husband got serenaded by a large gay man, who sat on his lap in a red, sparkly tux (I almost shot beer out my nose I was laughing so hard). The troupe was really talented, the girls were great dancers, and I totally give them props for getting naked on stage. Although, my husband points out, they are not completely naked, it's Burlesque- not a strip club. But seriously, pasties and a thong is a lot nakeder than I would ever want to be on a stage.
Sometime during the show my husband leans over to me, “You could totally rock that.” He gestures towards the stage and one of the skimpy outfits the girls have on. I sort of just shrug, as if to say, okay in what lifetime? “No, you would really look hot in that. You could totally do that.” I start taking mental notes of the outfits and the moves, and wait... did he just tell me I could be a burlesque dancer? I tell him he's insane for even thinking that and he responds, “Well, aside from the whole dancing and coordination thing, you could do it.”
I am probably one of the most uncoordinated people ever, and I can't dance (except when I'm drunk- then I'm awesome!) so this is a proper assessment. I would love to tell you that we went home and got it on, we were just watching a sexually charged show that definitely got us both in the mood. I would really love to tell you that's what happened, if I were writing this in a book then it would happen, but no, it's real life- don't judge me, I worked all day and that last beer took me from nicely buzzed to I can't keep my eyes open. But don't worry, it's to be continued- stay tuned!