Friday, January 17, 2014

Sexy Architects and a Real Life HEA

Welcome to this month's edition of Spanking Romance Reviews' Round Table Discussion. This time we are talking Fantasy vs. Reality

I was debating how to go about this post. I do this fun thing with my friend Natasha Knight (well, I think it's fun, she may just think I'm nuts) where I email her and say “Yay, got kinky this weekend!” and then she says “Details??” and I say “Real? Or romance novel version?” And then I give her both anyway.

It's sort of like this.

We were watching a movie and he just reached across the couch and grabbed me. Pulled me over his lap and gave me a hot spanking. He didn't stop until I was writhing and begging him and promising sexual favors. Then he whisked me up to the bedroom where he promptly took care of all of my sexual needs.

Real Life:
We were falling asleep on the couch. He asked me if he should turn on that cable porn movie he recorded. Should we fool around tonight or just go to sleep? Oh, it's only 9:30. Okay, we have time. We start watching cable porno, lots of boobs, I am criticizing all the acting. He looks like he is falling asleep. I start removing clothes to speed this process along. He asks if I want some spanking action- why is he asking? Answer is yes, always, always yes.
We start, the cat jumps on me. It's weird. We head upstairs, lock out cats. The spanking was short, could have been longer, but was still hot!! Fun was had by all.

Really you can romanticize anything. I am just cutting out the real life unromantic stuff that everyone deals with and doesn't want to hear about. (I do blog about it though, because sometimes real life is too funny not to share.)

I think it's okay to have a good dose of fantasy, as long as you are not resenting your real life because it doesn't live up to your fantasies.

As a kid brought up on ½ hour sitcoms and Disney-ized fairy tales it would have been easy to have unrealistic expectations for real life. As an adult who frequents romantic comedies and reads (and writes) novels that all have Happily Ever Afters, it's easy to get deluded.

Upon returning home from her Honeymoon a friend of mine told me she had read the Nicholas Sparks book Dear, John while her and her husband of two days were sunning themselves in the Caribbean. Upon finishing, she picked a fight with her new husband because he 'never does romantic things'. I brought up the point that she was reading a work of fiction and it really wasn't fair to expect someone to act like a character from a romance novel. She said she realized that in the back of her mind, but the fantasy seemed so real to her she was just feeling shortchanged at the time.

If I think back to my girlhood fantasies about what my life would be like when I was older, I can end up being very disappointed. I didn't marry an architect (aren't all the guys in rom coms sexy architects?), I don't have a cool and trendy job, I don't live in a cute house in an adorable neighborhood somewhere.

But here is the reality- I am married to a guy I am head over heels for. He thinks I'm funny and beautiful (I know because he tells me these things). I hate my day job, but I started self-publishing spanking romance novels (that is pretty cool). The cute house in an adorable neighborhood is something we can work on, for now our outdated townhouse works just fine.

It's nice when the lines of reality and fantasy become a little blurred. And if my life is not living up to my fantasy expectations? I can just write a book where everything does.

Make sure to visit the rest of the Round Table peeps! Thanks for stopping by!


  1. heh sexy architects- I had the perfect lesbian romance in my head, complete with adopted kids and both of us working in education. Yeah, not at all what I have. Thanks for the interesting comments, Casey. Interesting about your friend feeling shortchanged after reading the book. And here I was thinking of grabbing a romance novel because I'm awake while my insomniac Master is finally asleep and I'm too upset to join Him.

  2. Another blogger once played with this idea of romance novel version vs. what really happened. Your example was a nice way to show that. We often wish our lives could be more like good fiction!

    Great post.

  3. Was I talking to you when the comment of 'are we being irresponsible by creating these men?' came up? I can't remember. I like blurred lines. I'm almost always creating scenarios in my mind while I'm out about everything.

    Someone told me once that I don't live in the real world (she was drunk and we're still friends). I don't agree with that - I believe we create our reality and mixing it up with some fantasy is fine, it's totally ok. Just be happy and keep two feet on the ground. I think that's key - be here fully but enjoy every single moment and a lot of the time, that means a little bit of both for me at least.

    Nice post. Thanks for the mention :)

  4. LOL, you gotta love cats. I think it's natural to want the romantic version in real life, if only you didn't miss out on a lot of the humor. :)

  5. I think you've pointed up the best part about having a fantasy life--you can use it to enhance your real life, either through fiction or your own imagination. Like you've said, though, it only becomes a problem when you let yourself believe that your reality should conform to your fantasy. It's just plain not going to happen. It's important to manage your fantasy life so that it makes your reality better and not worse.

    Love your post and your example of telling the same events as told through the lenses of fantasy and reality. Made me laugh as your blog usually does:)

  6. Great post, Casey! I love how you always manage to be profound and cute and funny all at the same time. And I love the insight and balance you have on life (and love, and fantasy) - it sounds like a recipe for happiness to me <3

    P.S. Bad cat! XD

  7. You do manage to be profound and cute at the same time. I love your stories, all versions of them!!!

  8. Casey, I love reading your posts!
    They are so witty and fun, but also real!

    I like mixing reality with fantasy, as long as I can remember where the line is.

    LOL, I have a very active imagination, and can sometimes find myself in the same "place" as your friend. :)