So Many Things!

Is it screwing anyone else up that these holidays keep falling mid-week? I have not known what day of the week it is since about a week ago. I think this is Sunday night? Yes, I am writing this on Sunday night. It feels like a Friday.

Anyway, I do not know where the time is going. But there are things! So many things!!

First off, there is voting that will take 27 seconds. Seriously, 27 seconds of your time. Over at Spanking Romance Reviews they have nominated some books of the year. I happen to be on the list, but vote for whatever books you loved, it's anonymous so no one will know!

Also, this week is the Winter Spanks Blog Hop. If you have a blog and want to post something wintery and spanking related you can still sign up at Spanking Romance Reviews or at The Saturday Spankings Blog

If you would rather just be a spectator, hey that's awesome too. There are lots of blogs that signed up and lots of prizes to win. Each original comment on each blog will be counted as one entry towards the grand prizes.

The grand prizes kick ass. There's a kindle or nook to win, giftcards, book bundles, dvds, art. So many things, click the above links to see the full list.

I promise a real blog post shortly after the New Year, right now I am still coming down from my Christmas cookie high. Make sure you stop back in on January 2nd for my Winter Spanks Story.

Love and Spanks and a Happy New Year!
xoxo ~Casey

Stuffing My Stocking

I hope everyone had a very, Merry Christmas. If you celebrate the holiday, I hope you found some peace and joy.

I thought I would share a highlight from my Christmas morning.

I had some cinnamon buns baking in the oven. Mr. McKay and I had finished opening the bigger gifts and were going through our stockings. His is filled with sexy underwear for me. He stuffs mine with all the things I like- new Christmas socks and gum.

I start to get towards the bottom and he says- "There's a surprise in there I think you're going to like."

Now- he had already told me he was buying me something kinky and I hadn't opened anything kinky yet. So I reach my hand into the bottom of the stocking and pull out a small wrapped package about 6 inches long. It has some weight to it, and it feels pretty thick. When I squeeze it in my hand it gives a little, so I assume it is some sort of silicone. 

You stick something like that in a kinky girl's stocking and what is she going to think it is? Yes, I thought it was a dildo. And I was a little nervous judging by the girth I was holding in my hand.

My inner monologue: "Oh my God, he got me a dildo, and it feels huge. I don't know how enjoyable this will be." I look over and he is smiling and seems so proud of himself. "Well, it's my own fault. I can't drag him into kinkdom and then be upset when I get sex toys in my stocking. I am just going to smile and tell him I love it."

I tentatively tear the paper back, heave out a sigh of relief and start hysterically laughing. This is what I found:

And yes, I do love it. I have a crazy addiction to smoked meats. It was an awesome Christmas surprise!

Oh, I also got some real kinky toys, and a few orgasms before we left to visit family. That's a story for another post!

A Day in the Life of a (Scattered) Smut Writer

I have been working on a new book, for a while now actually. But the problem is, I get a little distracted sometimes. It's actually gotten worse in the last week (I am blaming the holidays, but who knows really).

It's a historical novella, so I also find that I need to stop from time to time to look things up- that's when I get really distracted. This is a typical day trying to write for me:

Sign offline- open word document. Begin writing next chapter. My characters are moving from England to America.

Wait, how long are they going to be on this boat? This could potentially wreck the flow of my story.

Googles- travelling by ship in the 1890's. Get's lost in various links.

Oh, good, 12-15 days, that's way better than months! Oh, I have a new email, let me just click this and make sure it is not important.

45 minutes later.

Ack! What have I been doing for the past hour? I only wrote 10 words. Grrr...

Gets back to writing.

She was laying on the bed? Or she was lying on the bed?

Googles- lay vs. lie word usage. Chastises self for not saving as favorite.

Another 30 minutes later...

I'm hungry, what time is it? What do we have to eat?

Goes to kitchen. Eats a brownie. So many dishes! Does some dishes.

I should stop washing these dishes and take a shower before I use up all the hot water.

Makes way upstairs. Examines self in mirror while brushing teeth.

Is that a blackhead?

Digs out magnifying mirror.

Ew! Magnifying mirrors should be outlawed, no one should be able to see their pores this close up. 

Begins plucking and tweezing all the stray hairs one cannot see without the aid of the evil magnifying mirror. Phone starts ringing. Runs to get phone, stubs toe in process.

Tries to explain to concerned mom on the other end why I am out of breath and yelling in pain.

Eats another brownie, does more dishes. Inserts lots of "oh yeahs?" and "that's nices" to mother on phone.

Finally hangs up.

What was I doing?

Eyes laptop. Remembers notes that were jotted down in backroom at work. Digs out notes, tries to make sense of it.

Gets engrossed in writing, finally! Stomach is grumbling, has to switch on light because it is getting dark.

Front door opens.

Oh hey, you home early?

Husband thinks I had awesome writing day because I am unshowered, unfed, and engrossed in writing.

I check word count. 250 words head-desk.

Well tomorrow is another day...

Maintenance Night and TMI- Natasha Knight Visits!

Natasha's visiting today! I know I can always count on her to tease me a little, and she did not disappoint! Her new book Claimed by the Beast went on sale this week and she is sharing a little excerpt with us- yay! (She also gives us a little TMI- double yay!)

Hi Casey. Thank you so much for having me here. I love your blog and I love you and Mr. McKay and well, I'm just happy to be here. I want to share a piece today from my latest release, Claimed by the Beast, the sequel to Taken by the Beast.

I love a maintenance night. I love the preparation, the anticipation, even the embarrassment that goes along with it. Ultimately, I love the submission. In this scene, we revisit Elijah and Kayla who have (since the conclusion of Taken by the Beast) married and started a family. Elijah has just reinstated maintenance night - a weekly event - to get Kayla and himself back on track in their DD marriage…Can I just say, one of my favorite positions to be in is where I leave you off at the end of this excerpt?? TMI, sorry.

* * * *

Her inspection would begin in half an hour.

She had showered and shaved herself completely bare, as he liked for her to do, and returned to the bedroom to find Elijah waiting for her on the bed.

“Am I late?” she asked, surprised to see him there.

He grinned, one arm draped over the back of the headboard, the other resting beside him.

“I’m early. Baby is fed and sleeping and I didn’t want to wait. Well, really, I couldn’t wait. Lose the towel,” he said.

Kayla’s clit swelled with his words and she dropped the towel to the floor.

“You know better than that. Pick it up and put it away.”

“Yes, sir,” she said, picking up the towel and hanging it up before returning to the bedroom.

He sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. “Come here,” he said.

She knew it was time for her inspection and went to stand between his legs, keeping her feet at shoulder width as he liked and placing her hands at the back of her head.

He looked at her and smiled. “Good girl,” he said, then scanned her body. “You look good, Kayla. I like your tits swollen like that.” He brushed the backs of his knuckles over one nipple which hardened immediately. He then ran those fingers down her belly to her shaved pussy. He paused there and pressed the space just above her clit, making her want to lift just a little to place herself onto his thumb. He then put both hands on either side of her pussy lips and spread them open.

She made a small sound. He looked up at her and smiled. “Patience,” he said, then returned his gaze to her sex. “You’re already wet and swollen and I’ve barely touched you.”

He looked at her for a while longer before finally bringing his mouth over her clit. It was a kiss, nothing more. As much as she wanted him to close his lips over her clit and suck, he only kissed her softly, his tongue just teasing the hard nub before sliding all along her pussy.

“Shaved in the back too?” he asked, moving his hands to hold her hips and looking up at her.

“Yes, Sir,” she said.

“Show me. Turn around and grab your ankles.”

Her eyes grew wider. She’d done this for him before. She’d done it a hundred times. It was just the moments immediately before turning around and bending over for him, legs wide, every part of her exposed, those moments did her in even as her pussy leaked onto her thighs with arousal.

He smiled, waiting patiently. She knew he liked this, liked to draw it out, liked to have her vulnerable, exposed. Enjoyed seeing her embarrassment show on her face.

She turned slowly and bent deeply, taking her legs just a little wider as she did. She wrapped her hands around her ankles.

Amazon US

Amazon UK

Amazon CA

Amazon IT

Blurb

More than a year has passed since Marcus, free at last from his harsh captivity, disappeared to lead a life of solitude. Rachel waits for him, clinging to hope, but her fear grows that the man with whom she shares an unbreakable bond is lost to her forever. Despair leads her to take risks with her life, and Elijah does his best to keep her safe, but he knows that only his brother’s return can truly heal her wounded heart.

Believing that he will only bring her pain and sadness, Marcus has vowed to leave Rachel on her own, telling himself that she will move on and find love and happiness in the arms of some other man. But when the dark shadows of the past engulf his family again and Rachel’s life is put in terrible danger, he is given no choice but to return and take back what is his.

Though overjoyed that Marcus has returned at last, Rachel cannot bring herself to believe that he will truly stay this time, and her doubts push her to defy him even as he fights to protect her. She soon learns, however, that he will tolerate no disobedience when her safety is at stake, and her defiance will be dealt with firmly. As she stands before him, bare and blushing with her well-spanked bottom on display, knowing there is much more to come, Rachel longs for her mate to claim her as his and his alone. But can he shield her from those who would do them harm, or will he be torn away from her yet again?

Publisher’s Note: Claimed by the Beast is the sequel to Taken by the Beast. It is an erotic novel that includes spankings, anal play, graphic sexual scenes, elements of medical play and BDSM, and more. If such material offends you, please don’t buy this book.

**In celebration of this release, my publisher has put Taken by the Beast on sale for $2.99 through New Year's. You can find it here Amazon, Amazon UK, Amazon CA, Blushing Books, ARE 

Craving a Release

Spanking is a sex thing, right? At least that is how I always thought of it for myself.
I daydream about it and it gets me hot. It's a sure fire turn on, and I will orgasm way quicker if there is a spanking prelude (you needed to know that, right?)
Yes, I have read blogs and chatted with friends who say that spanking and sex don't need to go hand in hand. They are different releases. But I thought, this is absolutely not true for me. If spanking is involved I want some sex, that it just how it works.

But something occurred a few days ago that makes me think perhaps the opposite is true. 

I was in full on Christmas- decorating, cookie baking mode. As well as regular day off stuff (laundry, cleaning). I had my day planned out- I was going skating in the morning (which always clears my head and puts me in a good mood), then baking cookies, a little cleaning, laundry, and finish decorating the tree. This would leave my night free to relax and spend some time with my husband.

Sometimes things don't go according to plan: I did go skating, and while it was nice because I hadn't been since roller derby ended for the season in November, it did not have it's usual calming effect on me. Instead it made me feel like I had wasted half my day ignoring tasks that I just wanted to get done. I didn't want to necessarily DO them, I just wanted them finished.

Then I got caught up on the computer (serious time suck- should have never opened the laptop). Then a Christmas movie came on TV and I thought I should let myself destress a little and refocus, so I laid on the couch for a bit.

Now it is late afternoon and I am starting to feel anxious about having let the day slip by and not even starting on my list. I begin hanging ornaments and pulling out stuff to make cookies, grumbling all the while that I am not getting anything done.

My husband- to his credit- tried multiple times to ask me what he could help with. I kept brushing him off. Another thirty minutes of listening to me complain and angrily hang ornaments on the tree and he just began eyeing me warily and tip toeing around me. 

Do you ever have those moments when you know you are being a little bit crazy, but you still can't stop yourself? Okay, no? Just me?

At this point it is 9pm. I just finished baking cookies. The tree is decorated. The laundry never got done and I feel like I want to cry. Day wasted. I am deflated and mad at myself. I am washing all the cookie baking stuff and slamming the dishes into the dish drainer.

Mr. McK comes into the kitchen as I am mid tantrum. He reaches around me and turns the water off, turns me around and pushes my back into the sink. I open my mouth to ask him what's up- but he kisses me hard. I am still holding a dripping wet measuring cup, that is now sort of sandwiched between us. He puts his hand down the front of my yoga pants, slips past my underwear and starts stroking my clit. I try to wiggle away- no foreplay, I am like hypersensitive for some reason. He just pushes me back into the counter harder and traps me with his body.

The immobility, the roughness, my nerves were on edge to begin with- I am crying out with an orgasm in no time. I slump against him, all of my muscles relaxing. He pulls back and looks at me, "Maybe that will fix your mood." He gives me a kiss and leaves the kitchen.

If this were a book this would have fixed me. I would have had a complete 180 in my mood and end of story, life is good. But this is not a book.

I stand there in a daze for a few seconds. Then I am right back into high anxiety mode. Am I supposed to reciprocate? 

I come back into the living room and he is laying on the couch watching some sports documentary or something.

I have a few minutes to come down from my high and I am right back into a crappy mood. And I know what I want. I know what I am craving. I am a bundle of anxiety and yes, I was super horny before, but now that problem is gone. I really want to be spanked. I feel like I need it. I finally understand what everyone else is talking about. This has nothing to do with sex, this is an emotional thing. But I can't bring myself to ask for it.

Fear of rejection. I'm afraid he'll look at me like I'm nuts (which is dumb, because I have obviously asked for him to spank me before- but this feels different). So instead of voicing any opinion, stating any kind of need, or even thanking him for the drive by orgasm- I just sit and stew in silence until he finally decides he has had enough of my surliness and goes to bed.

Yes, it was a shit day with a shitty ending to my night. All my fault, and no one to blame but myself. But I understand the spanking with no sex thing now. The absolute craving for that release from a spanking, without needing the sex involved.

Maybe one day I will be able to voice my needs instead of taking it out on my dirty dishes.

Spanking Romance Reviews- Best of 2013

Spanking Romance Reviews is doing an end of the year Best Books of 2013!!

I'm on the list for Cursed Waters. Take a minute to vote, it's actually like 15 seconds, take some seconds to vote!

Lots of awesome books got nominated, vote for your favorite :)

Click Here to Vote 

A Very Kinky Christmas

We are done Christmas shopping! For each other, for family, done done done!! We were basking in our done-ness last night when we started discussing what we got each other.

Here is the thing, I LOVE presents. Giving, getting- I don't like spoiling the surprise, but sometimes I can't help myself from giving hints or asking for hints. But it can cause some head scratching.

Mr. McK: One thing I got you had a color option. I hope I picked the right color.

Me: What were the options?

Mr. McK: Purple, Pink, Blue, Leopard, or Black.

Me: Leopard?? What the hell did you buy?

Mr. McK: (laughs) Yep, figured you weren't really a leopard sort of girl. I got black, I figured it would be easier to explain away as exercise equipment.

Me: You got me something you would consider equipment?

Mr. McK: Well, it is for exercise in a way, i guess.

I think I might know what he bought, but I'm afraid to say my guess out loud in case I'm wrong. Also, I don't want to spoil my own surprise!

He mentioned he got me more than one thing in the sex toy department. I have no clue what else it could be. I thought we owned everything (well everything I would want to own), so we shall see!

Between his kinky Christmas shopping and the stocking stuffed with lingerie I give him every year- we may not be coming up for air until the New Year. And I am quite okay with that ;)

Christmas Past- Free Spanking Story

We are in the depths of holiday chaos here in the McKay house. But through the shopping, and prepping, and family cheer (hear the sarcasm?)- I did take some time to reflect that things were not so easy just a short time ago.

Names have been changed to protect the innocent (and also because I may have used some poetic license in some parts), but this is a mostly true story.

Merry Christmas, readers! Here is a gift for you. Thanks for stopping by my blog and reading all my crazy posts :)

A Tale of Christmas Past (A Slightly True Story)

Krista rolled her shoulders trying to shake out the tension as she set up the baking supplies on the counter. Thankful she had only worked the one job today she tried to put her aching feet out of her mind. She took a sip of her hot chocolate, trying to wake herself up a bit before Josh got home. She was hoping once the cookies were baked, and she had spent some much needed quality time with her husband, she would be able to get to bed at a decent time for the first night this week. She snipped the top off of the back of chocolate chips, popping a few in her mouth as she read through the recipe.

Her heart just wasn't in it. This was usually one of her favorite times of year, but she was finding it hard to get into the spirit of things this year. She knew Josh would appreciate the cookies, and hell she could definitely use a sugar fix.

She heard the answering machine click on in the living room and she ran to it, pulling the plug from the wall, silencing it before the message could start. The bill collectors could get a busy signal for a few hours, she thought, as she swallowed down the lump in her throat that formed every time she thought of their mounting debts. The phone would be the next thing to get shut off anyway, then they wouldn't have to deal with the messages they had both stopped listening to and didn't even bother deleting anymore.

As she turned to go back into the kitchen her eye caught the Christmas tree in the corner. The artificial tree was a little lopsided, most likely from the cat that kept climbing it. The lights were hanging precariously off the side and the ten ornaments that were up were scattered with no rhyme or reason. Krista felt the first genuine smile she'd had in days pull at her lips. Josh had done his best to decorate the tree for her, but his decorating skills left much to be desired. She loved that he had tried and she knew he was trying to cheer her up. She normally decked out the house right after Thanksgiving, but this year she was too tired and deflated.

The cookie baking was her way to thank him, for trying to bring a little Christmas cheer into their home, and for holding her while she had cried herself to sleep last night. She also didn't want him to think she blamed him. She didn't. They were in a financial mess that neither of them could have seen coming. They were trying desperately to claw their way out, but it wasn't happening quick enough. She understood now why a lot of relationships suffered over money problems. But they had decided early on that they would remain united and not let this take them under.

She set the oven to preheat, hoping the heat from it would warm her up. Glancing at the clock she hoped Josh would be home to help her with the cookies, that was part of her plan. She also hoped his mood wasn't completely dismal, it was hard to get him out of his funk when he first got home. She suddenly got very nervous that her plan was stupid, if he rejected her she didn't know if she could take it. Would he just politely tell her he wasn't in the mood? Again?

She was about to run upstairs to change and shelve her sexy cookie baking plan for another night when they would be less stressed and more in the mood, when she heard the front door open. She took a deep breath to center herself. She was diving in head first, there was really no way to explain why she was baking cookies in nothing but an apron and a sexy pair of panties.

“Hello?” Josh called as he slammed the front door behind him.

He sounded tired. She knew he couldn't see her where she stood in the kitchen. She hesitated, not knowing if she should walk in and show him what she was up to, or hide a bit longer.

“I'm in here,” she answered. She was hiding- chicken.

She heard him sigh as he sat on the couch and the thunk of his sneakers as he kicked them off into the middle of the floor.

“How was your day?” he asked.

“Oh you know, same old same old. Frantic shoppers. Long lines, no breaks. Merry Christmas.” She didn't mean for that last part to come out as sarcastic as it did. When had she gotten so jaded?

She heard him murmuring his agreement and hated that she had already started in on the negative. She was trying to change up the pace tonight. A little less bitching, a little more fun.

“What are you doing in there?”

Now was the moment of truth. This would either work, or end disastrously. She just hoped he didn't laugh.

“Baking cookies.”

She laughed at his gleeful “Yay!”

“Want to help?”

“Egh, yeah, I guess.” He clearly did not want to help.

She left her back to the kitchen doorway, knowing the eyeful he would get of her from behind. She closed her eyes as she heard his approaching footsteps.

“Wow.” She barely heard his breathy whisper before his arms wrapped around her from behind.

“What is this?”

“Hmm? I'm baking cookies.” She smiled, shivering as his warm body came into contact with her cold skin.

“Aren't you cold?” He laughed while he asked. He was always making fun of her for the many layers she wore during the winter, she could never bundle up enough.

“Yes!” she admitted and laughed as he hands slid under her apron.

“I'll warm you up.”

He was kissing her neck and she leaned back into him.

“Cookies, we need to get the cookies in the oven.”

He murmured an affirmative sound and kept kissing down her neck.

“Wait! I need to measure, I can't think.”

She was elated he appreciated her gesture, but she really wanted to get these cookies in the oven.

“Okay, you measure, I'll watch.”

His hands stilled, but they were still under her apron. Her hands shook as she measured out the flour and sugar. She repeated the measurements out loud, trying to keep herself on task.

“And two handfuls of these,” Josh replied as he grabbed her breasts in his warm hands. She tried to ignore him and keep measuring, but she moaned when his thumbs flicked over her hardened nipples.

She got all of the ingredients into the bowl as his hands continued to roam her body. He massaged her ass with one hand and slid his hand down her tummy with the other, her hands stilled as his finger played with the waistband of her panties.

“Now what?” he prompted.

“I just need to mix it.”

She stirred and he picked up the chocolate chips.

“When do these go in?” He popped a few in his mouth and held some to her lips for her to take.

She caught them on her tongue and drew his finger into her mouth, sucking on it seductively.

He dumped the entire bag of chips on top of the mass of dough in the bowl. He pulled the spoon out of her hand, dropping it on the counter and pulled her away.

“Okay, done.”

She laughed.

“Wait, we just have to spoon them onto the cookie sheets.”

He growled at her and she couldn't stop the giggling coming out of her. Yes, this was the light-hearted playfulness she needed.

They got the cookies lined up in record time, working together silently. Josh smacking Krista's hand away whenever she tried to fix one of his dough balls she thought was too big or too small. Once they were done, the cookie sheet slid into the oven, and the timer set, Josh pulled her from the counter then took a few steps back.

She felt her face flush with heat as his eyes raked over her body. They had been married for three years, but her heart still thumped in her chest when he gave her that heavy-lidded look.

“What brought this on?”

She opened her mouth to speak, but her words faltered when she tried to respond. Wasn't he enjoying himself?

He must have noticed her confusion because he pulled her into a hug. “I love it, don't get me wrong. Anytime you want to bake like this, I am all for it!”

Relief flooded her and she stood on her tip toes to kiss him.

“I've been so stressed. I'm sorry I haven't been very Christmas-y. I thought the cookies would get us more into the spirit, and well-” She hid her face in his shoulder not knowing how to finish.

“What?”

He pulled her away from him to look at her.

“You haven't been very interested in 'other activities' lately.” She dropped her gaze, feeling her face heat up, she couldn't look directly at him and talk about this.

“I didn't think you wanted to.”

“I asked you to!”

“You seemed so tired.”

Silence hung between them. Krista tried to tug the apron down a bit, feeling very exposed now that they were having a normal conversation.

She let out a yelp of surprise as he swept her up and carried her into the living room.

“Let's get you out of this.”

Josh turned her around and untied the apron. It wasn't even a sexy apron, just a plain black one someone had given them at her bridal shower. She wished she could have afforded a cute 1950's looking one, but maybe some other Christmas. It seemed wearing barely-there lacey panties under anything instantly made it sexy.

He pushed her towards the couch, but instead of guiding her towards the seat he pulled her towards the side. He urged her to bend over the arm and she willingly complied. It had been weeks since they had sex and even longer since he had spanked her. She was dying to have all kinds of itches scratched.

His hand came down hard on her left cheek and she jumped at the contact. She settled back in and he spanked again, she let out a moan. He was spanking harder than a sexy spanking, or she just really wasn't used to it.

She felt his hand tangle in her hair. It had gotten longer than normal because she didn't have the money to get it cut. As she felt him wrap it around his hand and tug she decided she might never cut it again. She had to arch her back and lift her chest up to relieve the strain on her scalp, but the the tension went right to her core and she felt the wetness between her legs.

“You've been so stressed,” he said as he spanked her, his slaps falling at a punishing pace.

She snorted in response, that was the understatement of the century. She felt like she was wound so tight she could snap at a moment's notice. She let a whimper escape, not so much from the spanking, but from all the emotions she had bottled up inside. He stopped and rubbed his hand across her heated cheeks. He slid her panties down and then helped her stand before he guided her to lay down on her back on the couch. He stood before her, quickly shedding his clothes, before covering her with his body.

He rubbed a finger over her clit as he took one of her nipples in his mouth. She arched into him and moaned, feeling her climax already building. After the baking foreplay and the spanking it didn't take much to have her crying out in pleasure.

He sank into her as she was still quivering underneath him. His thrusts came fast and hard, she grabbed onto his shoulders to brace herself. She was lost again, being pushed to the heights again, when she heard beeping.

“The cookies,” Krista groaned as Josh continued his pace.

She wanted to push him off so she could get the cookies before they burned, but instead her legs wrapped around his waist and drew him in deeper.

He groaned something unintelligible and pushed himself up, she though for a second that he was going to get the cookies, but he switched their places. He laid back on the couch bringing her on top of him. When she was on top she felt so full, she rocked her hips, sliding herself up and down his length. Josh leaned back watching her on top of him, he brought his hands up to cup her breasts as she moved up and down.

She felt him pulse inside of her as a guttural growl came from his throat. They both cried out and she collapsed on top of him, curling her arms under her on his sweaty chest.

Krista let her eyes close as she listened to his heart pound in her ear. Then she heard him give an exaggerated sniff and she realized she could smell something burning.

“The cookies!” she exclaimed as she jumped off of him and ran for the kitchen.

She grabbed a pot holder and placed them on top of the stove. They weren't too bad, just a tad overdone. The bottoms were a little charred, but they weren't inedible.

She brought some warm cookies out and curled up with Josh. That's where they stayed, curled up in a blanket, eating warm cookies, under the glowing lights of their crooked Christmas tree.

Round Table Discussion- DD

The lovely Corinne Alexander is hosting this round of Round Table Discussion. So glad you stopped by! Corinne picked the topic of Domestic Discipline to discuss today. I feel like this is definitely a hot topic in the spanking community.

I know I always have something to say about it. Mostly because I am intrigued with it and want to figure out what exactly it is all about. She posed a few questions that could help get us started.

1. What appeals to you about DD?
2. What does not appeal to you about DD?
3. Do you practice any version of DD?
4. What do you think are some common misconceptions of DD?
5. If you practice any version of DD what have been the greatest joys it has brought to you?
6. What are the greatest challenges?

I'm only focusing on the first three questions and I'm going to start with #3 (because I am a non-conformist, don't judge me). My husband and I do not practice DD. I thought I would like to, I still think I might like to try one day, but it's sort of a decision we need to make together and right now it is not something we are doing.

We've had conversations about it and I don't really think he can wrap his mind around it. Also, when I brought up the fact that he would be enforcing something we had both agreed upon, he is just sort of holding me to it and following through with consequences- he said it would never work. I would like to argue that fact, but in a way I think he's right. This brings me back to the Dominant/submissive conversation that was also a previous Round Table post and seems to always be a topic around here.

So me, not being very submissive, I can understand his reticence. Because in my mind I am thinking- We agree upon something I want to work on, like I won't drive while I'm talking on the phone, you know, because it's illegal. And I won't do it, because we made it a rule and it is for my safety and if I do happen to slip up or just blatantly do it out of no care for myself then he should spank me, yes?

But I know he is thinking, we would make this a rule and then I would break it and if he called me out on it I would be all like- I had important things to say! And important places to be! Multitasking! No cops were around, dude, chill. Because this is exactly how it would go, I know this, because it happens now and it's not exactly a 'rule' but I constantly get scolded for using my phone while driving, and these are all the excuses he hears. I do get bent out of shape and I do get my back up about it and no, I cannot really see myself submitting to a spanking, even though I know it's dumb and I shouldn't do it.

His second point is that I like to be spanked. And yes, this is 100% true. So he then thinks I would be breaking rules just to get him to spank me. Which my argument is, if I wanted him to spank me I would just ask him to, because I already do, so what would be so different?

He also doesn't understand that there is a difference between a spanking as fun and a spanking as punishment. We had a little weird scenario that sort of bordered on a sexy/but also scolding spanking a few weeks ago. The post is here, but long story short, I got super drunk and fell in the shower and he was pissed that I could have really hurt myself. Also, to get me to calm down and to stop hysterically apologizing he told me he was going to spank me. This was all new to us. Him telling me he was going to spank me for a reason other than sex and then following through with it. Which brings me to questions 1 and 2 (see I got there, just stick with me).

The feelings I had when this was all happening. I was having horrible horrible guilt for going completely off the rails (it was also his birthday- did I mention that?- yeah, I suck) and ruining our night. The fact that he would call me out on it made me feel a little bit better. I think it takes a lot to be honest with someone even when you know they probably don't want to hear it. If I had asked him- did I completely ruin our night? And he had responded- no it was fine! But silently stewed over it, we probably would have gotten into some weird passive-aggressive behavior. This is the way we work anyway. I will tell him when I think he is acting out of line or being a jerk, he will tell me when I am getting bitchy or drinking too much, isn't that the way it should be?

But the spanking added a whole new part to it, now there was a definite ending to the situation. An atonement of sorts. I mean, it felt like we were both kind of playing a role, and it turned into some kinky sex, but it was still a different thing than we normally do.

And I think that is what appeals to me about Domestic Discipline, it brings in defined roles and kind of clears the air of a would be argument.

This brings me to question #2, what doesn't appeal to me about Domestic Discipline. It's almost the same thing that I find appealing, I find unappealing the fact that my husband would be holding me to certain rules we had decided upon. I know- and now you're thinking- Hey crazy, didn't you just say that you would like that? Yes, and I never said I made sense. I just wonder if I wouldn't end up feeling resentful, because while my husband is super amazing, he is not infallible. So why would I be subjected to rules and consequences if he wasn't?

This doesn't mean I am knocking on couples who practice DD. I am not, at all. I think it is a lot to discuss and a lot to work out before you even get started. For the most part DD couples probably end up having stronger marriages because of all the communicating and discussing that needs to happen. As with a lot of things it is a lot of trial and error.

It always sounds so simple in books (as do most things), the more dominant partner is in charge and the submissive partner learns to love it. If the submissive is feisty and fights it a little it only ends up being a steamy, interesting story. In real life it's not so simple, not so cut and dry.

I'm not saying we would never practice some form of DD, because I never say never. And maybe in a way we already are, just not as clear cut. We're doing our own thing and figuring out what works for us and I think that's all you can ever really do.

Make sure you visit all the other posts this week as well, thanks for stopping by!

Keeping the Boredom at Bay

I would love to write full time. Like, actual physical writing, without an additional stupid day job that keeps me away from my computer.

Here is the thing though, I am writing all day long, every spare minute I have. I just have nowhere to get the ideas out during the day. Thankfully I have a mundane, boring day job (silver lining) that doesn't really require much thought.

Retail hell, as I like to call it, is very useful for mapping out new story ideas.

One of my coworkers complained that she hated being on register because she couldn't just stand there and do nothing between customers. I, on the other hand, love when there are no customers. No one can question why I am just standing in one spot staring off into space. Occasionally I will flip through a magazine to make myself look less creepy, but I am hardly ever reading it, I am in fact writing a spanking novel in my head.

It often makes me wonder what other people in boring jobs think about all day. 

It makes me more tolerant when the guy behind the deli counter has to ask me three times how much cheese I wanted sliced within the span of 2 minutes. I almost want to say- "I write smutty romance novels while I'm at work, what are you doing?"

I doubt he is writing a romance novel in his head, but maybe he is writing a book. Or maybe he's thinking about the cute little thing loitering in the produce section that he keeps glancing over at. It doesn't really matter what he's thinking about, but I can almost guarantee it is not "Boy! I really love slicing cheese all day long! Can it really get better than this?"

Or maybe he does like slicing cheese. What do I know?

I'm not just writing stories in my head at work, I do it while I'm driving, during commercials, and standing in line. It's something I have done for as long as I can remember and it keeps me sane. It keeps me from getting too bored with the mundane.

It makes me wonder what normal people think about all day. I asked my husband and he said he also makes stories up in his head. But he's married to me, so I don't think he counts as normal.

Just think the next time your friendly cashier is ringing you up, she may have put her sex scene on pause so she could scan your coupons. Does she seem a little flustered?

Makes you wonder, right?

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Finding New Limits

Welcome back! This is a follow up to part one, which you can find here.

Where was I? Oh right, I am at work and anxiously willing the day to go by to get to the spanking that awaits me.

That sounds weird, right? I have to say I think I was equal parts dreading and anticipating it. I make no qualms about being a spanko. I have always thought about spanking and it has always been the ultimate turn on for me. While my husband indulges me, I am always directing. He has gotten more in the habit lately of actually spanking me as foreplay without me having to ask. Or without him asking me first (which is very sweet, but sort of takes me out of the moment). But really, I am very much in charge most of the time. It's a little backwards, but I like to just be grateful that he is trying.

So when he first said he was going to spank me, I thought he would drop it. Then when he didn't drop it, I thought he definitely wasn't going to follow through.

Well now it is the next day, we have both had time to sleep on it and think about things and he sends me this text message that I am up to 70.

Apparently I have misjudged this situation. I am nervous because this sounds like a high number. Surely he had never spanked me that much at once, right? I am really not sure because I never counted.

Then I start to worry about what he'll use. Probably his hand, right? I don't know, we have various implements.

This leads me to my next thought. Will he stop if I ask him to? If it just gets to be too much. I have this number in my head now, 70. What if I am ready to die at 30? Will he stop, or just keep going until he gets in the full 70?

Do I want him to?

Will I cry?

But really, my overall thought is, I am a little bit excited!

I finally get off from work, I walk in the house, not really knowing what to expect. What is the plan here? And I realize, as I have been craving for my husband to take control over situations, I may not really like it. I very much like knowing what is coming next, and knowing I can call the shots. Right now I am feeling a little bit adrift in this scenario.

We go through the normal end of the day conversation. How was your day? What do we want for dinner? Do we need to go to the store? You know, boring married people stuff.

I bring up the debauchery of the day before and his lips quirk into half a smile.

Mr. McK: Are you going to apologize again?

Me: No...

Mr. McK: You could make it 80.

I look back at him, a little uncertain of how I should react. Am I supposed to seem repentant? Am I supposed to act like I don't want this? It seems weird to be happy about it, right?

Mr. McK: What? Are you going to tell me you don't want me to spank you now?

I detect a note of exasperation in his voice. And I get it, how long have I been asking for this? Telling him I want it? And now I seem hesitant and unsure.

Me: No. It's not that. I just-

And I can't finish my thought, because really, I don't know. This is uncharted territory and I feel like I have questions, but at the same time I just want to go with it.

He completely deadpans: Do you want a drink first?

I look back at him in disbelief, is he really asking me this?

Me: No.

I answer honestly.

Mr. McK: You sure? 

He starts laughing, and I finally realize he was joking. I roll my eyes in response and tell him to shut up.

We get dinner sorted out and head into a typical Sunday night. Then he wants to know when I am making the frosting, you know, because I promised another sexy baking session to make up for yesterday.

I ask him if I should wear the french maid outfit again, or something else? I have this insane need to please him right now. And it could be because we are still celebrating his birthday. It could be because I am feeling guilty about wrecking the first time around. But could it be that I am feeling a bit submissive? I feel like I would have done anything he asked right there and then, and it was just completely out of my need to want to make him happy.

It was a strange feeling I don't remember having before. I mean, I always want him to be happy, I love him more than I ever imagined loving anyone. But this was a different kind of need to please.

More feelings to process, more things to think about later.

Right now he says maybe some different lingerie. I agree with this. Part of me doesn't want to relive that part of last night.

Now I have a new problem. What am I going to wear? I start pulling things on and pulling them off. What would he really like to see me in? The answer is yes, all of the above. He really doesn't discriminate when it comes to sexy things. I'm also trying to find something that will be optimally hot for me to get spanked in (which should be easy, because pretty much everything I buy I picture myself getting spanked in).

I prance down the stairs in these crazily impractical underwear that are really just strings held together at the waist. I know he likes them a lot and I put on a matching lacy black and red push up bra. I am feeling pretty sexy.

I get an affirmative cheer as I cross through the living room to get to to the kitchen. He grabs me, pulls me over to him, kisses me and tells me he loves me. I am really just relieved he isn't mad at me. I have an urge to apologize one more time, but really, I don't want to push my luck. I don't want him to think I am doing it on purpose just to get a reaction. Apparently I am a serial-apologizer, and it bothers my husband more than I thought.

When he lets me up for air, I continue on my way to the kitchen and whip up the icing.

Once I am finished I go back into the living room, he smacks my ass and tells me to go get my toys. He smacked me pretty hard, and my ass is stinging, but I am smiling. I am halfway up the stairs and I yell “That counts as one!”

He gets a kick out of that, but tells me no, it does not count.

He tells me to bend over the arm chair in the living room. I am leaning over with my hands on the seat. He puts in the butt plug and also ben waa balls and I am trying to adjust to the double intrusion. I move to stand up, but he pushes me back down. “Well let's get this spanking out of the way.”

Oh, is this happening now? I thought I would get a little more time. Now I am freaking out a little bit in my head. I am not mentally prepared! This is happening too fast!

He gets the leather paddle. Okay, I can handle that. But is he going to spank harder than normal? I am still not entirely clear if this is a sexy spanking or something else. Maybe he doesn't know either, I am afraid to ask.

He starts in right away, and I am thinking, Thank God he's not asking me to count because I would just flat out refuse. That is too much for me (also, bad at math, I would so lose count).

I am counting along in my head though, just to keep track. I dig my toes into the carpet at the initial sting, but it isn't too bad. He gets through the first 10, then pauses and tells me “That was 10.”

I almost laugh at the way he says it because it seems so out of character. I feel the need to answer, I start saying “Okay” but he starts spanking me again and catches me by surprise so it ends up coming out as “Oka- ahhh!”

We get to 20, and I am completely fine. It's a little sting-y, but I start to realize I may have overreacted at being afraid of 70... we've probably gone well past 70 in the heat of the moment, sexy spankings, I just never counted.

It's not until we pass the halfway mark that I start to notice a difference in this spanking. He has kept his hand on my lower back the whole time, reassuring me? Keeping me in place? I am not quite sure why, but I like it there. We're around 40 and I start shifting around a little, especially if he hits the same spot too many times in a row. And I realize any other time he would be asking if I was okay, or he would stop, or he would apologize. None of these things happened.

It's not like I was writhing in pain and begging him to stop, but I was showing signs of mild discomfort and normally that's enough to make him at least ask what I want to do. But he just continued on, the man was on a mission. And I have to say that I found it pretty sexy, and I was getting just as wet as my ass was getting hotter and hotter.

Through the last 10 I know I was making noises. And I was having a hard time keeping my hands down flat. I was shifting from foot to foot, but I knew it was almost over, so it wasn't that bad.

And then it was over. I stood up and he hugged me close. I wrapped my arms around him and put my face on his chest. “That wasn't so bad.” My words come out muffled because I am talking into his shirt.

He kind of laughs, “Did you think it would be?”

I nod my head and tell him I was really nervous. He kisses my forehead and I open my mouth to tell him I love him, but he's giving me a funny look. I tell him anyway and he goes “Oh, I thought you were going to say you were sorry again, and then I was going to spank you.”

This made me laugh out loud.

I took a few minutes trying to explain to him how I felt afterwards. I told him I had been feeling guilty about ruining his birthday, but now I felt better, because even if that wasn't exactly why he was spanking me it just made it seem better to me. He said he didn't really understand. Or I suspect I was making him nervous (feeeeelings!).

Anyway, he pushed me back over the chair, removed the butt plug and we had the hottest sex we have had in a while.

I know we have a pretty great relationship. It definitely isn't perfect, but it is awesome most of the time. And this weekend just made me feel more connected to him on so many levels, I am still picking through it.

It is also making me wonder if this was just a one off, or if he will spank me for other things in the future. I think I am okay with that. I think... maybe.

We all have our limits, sometimes we just need to figure them out.