Thank you for stopping by the latest edition of the Spanking Round Table, brought to you by Spanking Romance Reviews!
Today we are hosted by Thianna D and she came up with the topic of Discipline vs Punishment-- What is the difference to you?
At first, I would say there is no difference to me. When reading a spanking romance these are both hot button words. If the hero walks in a room and tells the heroine "You have disobeyed me, you will be punished." It has the same effect as "You have disobeyed me, you will be disciplined." Yum.
Even the word disobeyed kind of gets my motor going.
They don't mean the same thing. Discipline is following rules and staying within set guidelines. Someone can be a disciplined runner, or you can have a disciplined diet. Punishment is a consequence for not being disciplined.
It doesn't bother me at all if they are used interchangeably in a book. I may even use them in place of one or the other. At the end of the day if a reader is reading a spanking romance I think they will let it slide and won't mince the definition of your words.
I think I went straight to how it applies to reading and writing rather than real life because I do not have a domestic discipline marriage. But that doesn't mean there isn't some type of discipline or any punishments for that matter.
For instance, my husband hates if I use my cell phone while driving (okay, it is against the law and very unsafe-- but people still do it). I never text while I'm driving but I would occasionally make a phone call or two on my way from one place to another. I call it multitasking. Otherwise I have all that wasted time I could have been using while I was in the car!
(Side note- I at one point had a blue tooth, but I ran it over... so yes, perhaps my husband is right to be concerned that I would be distracted while driving.)
He mentioned to me about a month ago that the state that we live in just upped their penalty for cell phone usage while driving. He just casually mentioned it and then gave me one of those looks, no not a look like he would spank me, a look like 'I will never let you hear the end of this, we will be 90 and I will still be ragging you for getting a ticket.'
I am a big girl, I could pay my own damn fine if I happened to get pulled over for talking on my cell phone. But I know my husband would be annoyed and probably disappointed in me too. He's mentioned that it is unsafe and he would like me not to kill myself. So, I would feel terrible if something happened when I was specifically doing something he has asked me not to do.
Is that a form of discipline? I think so, someone else is imposing expectations on me and I am following them. In this case there is not definite punishment (although the ticket itself would be a consequence), unless you count the fact that he would never drop it, ever.
I also think it works both ways. I am sure there are things he does or doesn't do because I have asked him to. These probably have less to do with safety and more to do with cleanliness-- not that either of us are at all disciplined about the cleaning of our house. But I like to think it is a bit cleaner since I live here.
One thing that I definitely see as a discipline/punishment scenario is writing. When I first started writing I would complain about not having enough time, or getting easily distracted and not meeting the goals I was setting for myself. My husband finally told me to just write, or not to write, but to stop whining about it. If I wanted to do it-- I would find the time.
"You don't understand," I said. "It just isn't that easy."
"Fine, no spankings until you get some writing done."
"You heard me."
It actually does motivate me. It isn't like he keeps track of when I am writing or when I'm not, and I could probably easily lie about it. But when I do accomplish a lot I like to share and tell him all about it... and then I usually get rewarded :)
Does he withhold spankings when I haven't accomplished my goals? Occasionally. Mostly he will tease me, but I have ways of convincing him to give me what I want, I just have to work a little harder at it.
Check out the other blogs talking about this topic this week! Thanks for stopping by!